r/waiting_to_try

I feel like this doesnt get talked about enough at OB appointments. Has anyone gotten genetic testing done before TTC? Is it worth doing or just more of an anxiety producer? Planning to start trying this December, not sure if its something I should look into more or not

My husband (33) and I (32) will TTC our 1st in October and I've been battling for the last 2.5 yrs this hellish cycle of BV and yeast. If its not one then its the other. Ive been through 3 gynocologists. One of which dismissed me and told me im fine.

I did a full screening using EVVY as a last ditch effort to see wtf is going on and the results were that I had no good bacteria and lots of bad. That even if I wanted to conceive, I wouldnt be able to because the flora is not sustainable for sperm. And to fix this I needed to do a week of boric acid. A week of antibiotics, two fluconozale tablets, and ive been doing oral probiotics and vaginal probiotic suppositories for 2 weeks now.

Youd think that would fix me right? Wrong. Something is still off. I bought another test so I can see whats happening and will take that tonight. And yes - my husband and I abstained during the first 3 weeks of this process and have had sex twice with condoms during the probiotic period to not mess anything up. Yes.

Im so exhausted from this I could cry. If I cant get this under control then I wont be able to conceive at all and Its making me so distraught because it feels like a constant battle that Im always losing.

Hi everyone. My husband and I are planning to TTC #1 around the end of this year so we recently did a generic carrier screening test just to make sure there’s nothing of concern prior to TTC and I’m glad we did because it turns out we’re both a carrier for the same thing.

We have an appointment scheduled in June with a genetic counselor to discuss our results further and what it means for how we approach having a baby. I’m trying not to get ahead of myself or go down any internet rabbit holes on the topic but these results are definitely disappointing.

Has anyone else been in this position?

hello to anyone reading this,

to be honest I don’t really know what it is I’m wanting to say here so it is a little rambley.

I’m 21 and my boyfriend is 22. we have been together for 3 years and he’s my person.

I was on birth control for just under two years - I got the implant around 9months into our relationship and stopped 6 months ago (because The side effects I had were too much) . we do not use any protection at the moment either. but we don’t have sex super often (it’ll be like 3 times in one week and then not again until a couple weeks later).

I’m currently completely lost in terms of career and we both work a part time job (we get anywhere from 14-35 hours ish a week) earning minimum wage. both of us live at his parents’ place and are in no financial position to have a baby anytime soon.

Besides all this, the only thing I’m certain of is I want to start a family with this man. I feel like a kid who has been told they get to go get ice-cream after school but my mum has only just dropped me to school.

I want to be a mother so bad. I know if we were financially stable we definitely would. the job market is terrible, I’ve been trying to get a full time job for a while now so I can leave my part time job.

the thing is whenever there has been a scare or tbh anytime it has come up in conversation that if I were to accidentally fall pregnant right now, he would ”lock in“ on getting a better job and sell all of his expensive stuff. and I know he would do good on his word. But also he seems to be in no rush to do it now. He has no desire to move out of his parents house and tbh I can’t blame him with this economy. we don’t pay any bills except buy our own food.

He doesn’t have much of an opinion (or is too scared to say) about if I were to fall pregnant at this point in time. he just always says it’s your body it’s completely your choice. I’m grateful to have a boyfriend who isn’t prolife but he’s so pro choice that he’s not even giving me his opinion.

i don’t think i could make a choice that life-changing all on my own. I know that no matter which he would support me but it’d be nice to know considering we aren’t doing anything to prevent it from happening.

I have spoken to my boyfriend about this plenty of times probably to the point that he’s bored of it.

my nan (mums mum) had 6 children and didn’t work and relied on benefits and (later on) her husband to raise her kids. my mum was a single mother my whole childhood but also studied for most of my life to try and break the cycle. she’s almost there now but we lived in poverty for my whole childhood. And as much as I had a great life and she provided everything she could for me, I don’t want that for me or my children.

im sorry this is so much rambling to anyone reading. being a mother is the only thing in life that im certain that i wanna be. I just don’t want to end up relying on benefits because I want to break the cycle.

im so torn because im one of 2 women in my whole family who hasn’t had a teenage pregnancy so I feel so behind in life for a multitude of reasons. i dream about being a mother every single day. I’m trying desperately to hold out for the sake of my future children. because it would be selfish of me to have a baby at this point in my life.

TL;DR - I desperately want to have a family with my boyfriend but we simply just don’t have the money rn.

I know this is dumb- I know I shouldn’t be ‘stopping my own life’ for this- however, I just need to get it out. Husband and one of my best friends have desperately told me this is not a good way to think so I guess I don’t really want advice but I want to hear if anyone’s had the sam reservations???

My reasons for waiting aren’t ’good’ or ‘rational’, I know that. I’m scared of the changes is the smaller more sidelined reason- the main one is that I have multiple friends actively trying who has wanted this forever and probably want it more than me and I’m afraid that whilst so far they’ve all been unlucky, if I somehow was an outlier and it was very fast for us, I feel like I’d be taking something from them since I’m the one who wasn’t sure about kids until recently. I’m worried if this happens and there were any issues for them that were abnormally prolonged that it was ruin our friendship and I’d lose them.

I know this probably sounds like I’m just selfish and a bit weird but in my head I’d be an awful person if we were trying at the same time or managed earlier than them. I know it’s mad but I need to know if anyone had similar reservations and how you started thinking rationally about it.

For the past year, I’ve been telling my fiancé that I want us to try for a baby, and whenever I bring up the topic, he doesn’t really engage with it, almost as if he doesn’t care. Because I have OCD, I tend to bring it up quite often, and I feel like I’m exhausting him, even though I’m not doing it on purpose.

Recently, I asked him to do some blood tests so we can see whether he might need to take any supplements, something I will also do so that we’re both prepared for September, which is when we agreed we would start trying for a baby. I feel like he’s tired of talking about it. He’s the type of person who doesn’t really plan things ahead, but this is something that needs to be discussed and organized.

I feel like September is far away, but at the same time, when you want to have a child, three months is actually very close. Yet for him, it doesn’t seem like a topic worth discussing because it’s in the future.

I (29F) and my husband (29M) want to start trying for kids relatively soon. He is the youngest of 5, and all his siblings have had 1 or 2 kids already so we don’t want our kids to be so much younger than their cousins. We love to travel and really want to do a PNW or Yellowstone trip next year, but also we want to potentially start TTC this fall. The selfish part of me wants to hold off another year, but the reasonable part of me says we should probably start trying. I keep changing my mind almost every day, does anyone else feel the same or similar?

Hi, I (30F) and my husband (35M) are starting to think about having kids.
I am extremely nervous because I didn’t have the best childhood, don’t really have a “village”.
I know people say you are never “truly” ready. We both have good careers and stable income, we own our home etc.

But what were some things that helped you realize you were in a good place to starting trying to have kids.
Some advice you can share on how you felt, things you feel like you wish you knew before, during. Parenting books you wish you read, things you talked to your doctors about before. Basically any advice you can share or wish someone told you before you tried to have a baby.

Thanks!

It took my husband (39M) 2-3 years to finally get on board with TTC. I'd been asking him when he wants to have kids for the past few years, and every time he said it's up to me.

Until I finally exploded 3 months ago and told him I really want kids, and that we need to start trying or just never have kids. Cycles came and went (work commitments and life got in the way) and we finally started TTC this month.

I know it's only our 1st cycle trying... But I'm just so impatient for it to happen because I've waited so long to even start.

We have both gained weight steadily since COVID-19 hit... So I wouldn't say our fitness is ideal.

What can I expect as someone in her mid-thirties with BMI36 (cycle of 26-34 days because of varying stress levels at work - avg 30 days) who's hoping for baby dust?

My husband and I planned on trying this July (I’m 29F turning 30 this July, husband is 30) but I have been diagnosed with hypermobility spectrum disorder and hypermobile ehlers danlos. I have a bugling disc which is causing me so much pain since October 2025, Im going a bit crazy, I do solidcore for strength training, I eat super clean, I go to physical therapy twice a week, I do dry needling, I get chiropractic care, I do saunas and cold plunges weekly. I truly don’t know what else to do, the pain still persists. I cry all the time at the thought of delaying our family or never having one because of my chronic pain.

I get Botox for my migraines which are a result of my hypermobility and my neurologist already said he’s cleared me to continue Botox whilst pregnant which is such a relief, but my back pain from the bulging disc sometimes sends me spiraling. I guess I’m posting to see if anyone else is in a similar boat, I want a family so badly, but I’m in constant pain and trying to cure it 24/7, I wonder if it’s meant for me at this point

My husband (32M) and I (29F) got married in February after 6 years together. We’re financially stable, both employed, and overall in a good place in life. I’ve always loved kids (I work in and studied early childhood education), and since we started wedding planning, I’ve been hit with MAD baby fever.

His family members are super religious Catholics (we’re both not really). But as a formality, we had to do the marriage prep course before our wedding in the church. And through this course, I learned all about natural family planning. I started tracking my cycles with LH strips and the Premom app. My cycles are long and inconsistent (they are anywhere between 34 and 60 days long), but I do get positive LH tests, have a regular luteal phase, and all my bloodwork/ultrasounds have come back normal.

We’ve technically been “not preventing” for about 6 cycles now, and I’ve been trying to time intercourse around ovulation, but nothing has happened for us yet.

The bigger issue is that my husband gets really anxious whenever TTC becomes a more serious convo. He keeps saying things like “we should own a house first” “we need to make more money” “we should pay off more debt first” or “we need to have more space”.

And while they’re all kinda true/valid, I also feel like nobody ever feels fully “ready” for kids. We live in Canada where home ownership is unrealistic for a lot of people anyways, renting is the norm here. We’ve both paid off so much debt in the past 6 years. I just don’t want to put my life on hold forever waiting for some perfect milestone. We can continue to grow and upgrade our lives but with our kids by our sides.

Some of our closest friends waited until they were 38/39 to even start considering TTC. I know that times are different now, couples are trying later, we have lots of modern medicine and all of these things. They’re influencing him too. But I’m not the same! I don’t want to wait another decade to consider even trying, and I’m worried we’ll have issues due to my irregular cycles or the plethora of other reasons couples can struggle. I want to deal with any issues sooner than later.

After a lot of hesitation and convincing, he’s doing a semen analysis on Friday and I’m praying everything goes well.

I genuinely think if we got pregnant, after the initial shock he’d ultimately be happy and super excited. But right now he seems stuck in fear and “what ifs.”

Has anyone dealt with a partner who was hesitant/scared to start TTC even though you felt ready? What helped?

hello, my spouse and I will begin TTC next spring. my friend mentioned getting in to see my OBGYN for a pre conception visit in addition to my annual appt. is this necessary?

I mentioned TTC soon to my family med doc in April and they didn’t elaborate further on if anything needed to be discussed? I have my annual OBGYN appt this fall and will be removing my long acting birth control then. no pap needed this year and i don’t plan to talk about other concerns. I’m generally quite healthy and low risk as of now. is there really a need to make a separate appointment for pre conception health talks or can I just expect it to be alright to bring up to the doc at my annual? I am just confused by her advice Thanks.

My husband and I are thinking about starting a family in a couple of years. We live on the edge of a relatively small town, near to the beach. I love our neighbourhood because I can walk to work and appointments, walk to my hobbies, catch up with friends in town, pop to the beach. No long commutes, parking fees, or traffic jams required. I've always preferred living in walkable places and feeling more flexible. Obviously I know this changes massively when you have a kid.

My husband owns the flat we're in, thankfully, but it's not very private and quite small for a kid. But there's hardly any larger homes available in our neighbourhood (we can't afford to buy a house right now). My husband's quite keen on the idea of renting a small house with a garden outside of the town, which would require commuting in (30 mins - 1 hour in traffic).

I had such a weirdly visceral reaction to this. One of my biggest fears about parenthood is losing identity and freedom (I've been working on this in therapy). The idea of living in the suburbs and having to drive everywhere is compounding this big fear of feeling trapped. I've also never liked the idea of living the 'picket fence dream' and prefer a more metropolitan lifestyle (as much as we can, seeing as the town we live in isn't big).

Is this a rational worry or not that big a deal in the grand scheme of having a baby? I obviously want what's best for the kid but I feel such an aversion to the idea of moving further out for the sake of space.

For context, I am extremely a type A person. I like to be prepped and plan everything as much as possible. I know that is not always a possibility when TTC. We've been married for a little over a year. I've never been that person that was "destined" to be a mom. I've been always kind of on the fence on having kids in general but ever since our wedding I'm starting to feel that shift that I am ready and excited to start that chapter. Although there is nothing stopping us from trying, I still feel hesistant to jumping right in. But there is always that concern that maybe it will take us longer then we think. (I am 29 almost 30)

When did you know you were ready and were there things you did before to get you to feel that way?

I have a 13 yo daughter, 11 yo son. I want another baby and partner is on board but we can’t really afford anything more than a 3 bedroom house to rent. If we were to have a baby, the age gap would be so large from my older kids to share rooms so I feel like all three would need their own rooms.

Does anybody have a solution for this? The thought of it is so overwhelming that I’ve actually considered not having another baby, but I feel like I will deeply regret it later in life.

I (30F) have been with my husband (30M) for ten years. We got married last year and my body is screaming at me to get pregnant. I recently had surgery to remove endometriosis which has drastically improved my sex life and fertility. I work in a demanding tech position and feel certain a pregnancy would negatively impact my career there. My plan is to pivot to a less demanding job, as the stress of my job would negatively impact my pregnancy, but that would mean a drastic pay cut particularly with the current tech job landscape. Also society (United States) is collapsing and I feel like it’s just not a good time to get pregnant. Desperate to wait, desperate to conceive. How do I cope!!!?? YOLO? Need support.

My (24F) fiancé (24M) and I have been together for 7 years, lived together for 2. We are in a really great place. My fiancé just got his masters degree, we’re both two years into our careers, we have been saving a lot, and are getting married in a year.

We both always wanted kids eventually, but after two years of living together, we’re starting to get antsy. The baby aisle at the store is having a bit more of a gravitational pull lately and suddenly our nights are spent watching funny baby videos.

I always grew up around a lot of babies, my sisters were born when I was a teenager and I babysat/nannied throughout all of high school and college. My fiancé knew my sisters when they were little, but otherwise doesn’t have much baby experience. That said, I just know he was made to be a dad.

Yesterday, I shared with my fiancé that the baby fever was starting to get to me, expecting him to say “absolutely not” but his response was “Me too. Do you want to start taking steps to get ready for a baby?”.

Emotionally, the answer is yes. But even though we’re in a pretty stable place, we’re still very young. We need a newer/safer car, a bigger emergency fund, and a house down payment all before we have a kid. Plus we’d need to move closer family first. Looking at the numbers, we’ll need to wait another 5-7 years before TTC.

I wish someone could change the facts and tell us it would be a good idea in the next year or two, but it’s just not. So instead, I would love to hear from others who had a long wait: how did you handle it? How has it been?

I have a 13 yo daughter, 11 yo son. I want another baby and partner is on board but we can’t really afford anything more than a 3 bedroom house to rent. If we were to have a baby, the age gap would be so large from my older kids to share rooms so I feel like all three would need their own rooms.

Does anybody have a solution for this? The thought of it is so overwhelming that I’ve actually considered not having another baby, but I feel like I will deeply regret it later in life.

Hi everyone! I’m hoping to start trying for a baby within the next year, and I want to make sure I’m as prepared as possible before that journey begins. I’d love to get ahead of things by learning as much as I can in the meantime!

To start, does anyone have any pregnancy book recommendations? I’m particularly looking for books suited to the pre-pregnancy stage, things that cover what to expect, how to prepare your body, and what to be aware of before you even conceive.
I’d also really welcome any broader suggestions beyond books too. Whether it’s online courses, apps, podcasts, supplements, lifestyle changes, or anything else you found genuinely useful. I’m open to it all and happy to invest in the right resources, I just don’t really know where to start!

If you’ve been through this stage and have any advice you wish someone had given you earlier, I’d love to hear it. Thank you so much in advance! 😊