Sudden severe baby fever, anxiety and sadness
I'm 29 years old & happily married to my husband. I've always wanted to start a family with him, but it was kind of a distant goal that I never thought about too much. We discussed at the beginning of this year that we'll start trying around October. I wanted to move closer to our family and get my career into a more stable place first.
Anyways, October is coming up and this past month I've began feeling intense emotions out of the blue about wanting a baby NOW. Like, the type of baby fever that led me to pull out my IUD in my bathroom by myself (dumb, I know) and pay for an expensive cycle tracking app. I promptly told my husband about this and he said he'd still like to wait until October as we're in the middle of moving cities (which is very reasonable).
Ever since I feel like I've been having some sort of breakdown. I keep seeing babies, pregnant women & young children and feeling this intense yearning, followed by anxiety and sadness. I keep thinking about my sister in law who just recently had her 1st, and how excited and jealous I am of her. I keep feeling this anxiety - what if I'm infertile? What if I'm not fit to be a mom? What if my husband is lying to me and doesn't actually want to have a baby with me?
I think I'm just seeking reassurance at this point. I don't know if what I'm experiencing is normal baby fever or whether it's pathological. I've never felt THIS level of wanting a baby... it almost feels desperate and embarrassing.