I dont know what to do
I dont know what to do.....so to get started i am a 18 year old boy from kolkata who fell for his classmate and when i say fell i mean head over heels. i knew i liked him since like 10th grade but it became even more stronger in 11 and even more stronger in 12th like i how do i explain what this boy did to me.....like he was the main reason for me to go to school , like the way he acted with me either made my day or ruins it...like one me dapped me and i spent an entire f**king day thinking how soft his hands(yeah it went this bad)....like after seeing him i truly believe he would have been my perfect boyfriend...I dont know if I would be his perfect boyfriend i like think i would be....like he so cute , hot , smart , funny ,charismatic like its illegal to be this good....like no girl or boy ever made me feel like this butterfly and stuff also i BLUSHED(in 18 and half years of my life i have never blushed for anyone in this universe)
So one day i wrote him an annonymous letter(mainly because my parent and friends are not that kind to gay people he would probably be cool but his friends wont be)and I waited months and months for some sign of response(i gave a lot of clue of who i am) so i asked my close friend to ask him if he ever got a love letter and he did reply......he was straight
.......Like i expected this but i didnt expect it to hurts this bad ....... like it hurts so much like i know it was just a crush but it hurts bad and i knew i kinda confessed(even though i knew i will be rejected) i cant move on how hard i try i just end up with him and i cannt do anything i cant blame anyone i cant make him love me i cant.....i cant block him or yell at him or anything and i cant blame god he/she has given me so much already......i know i am rambling but i just want to get this off my chest
So I am tired and I so very tierd and i need some type of consolation and advice please my request