Arriving in New York City during spring for a business trip and extra grateful for my career and the people I get to work with
Groups and individuals who dedicate their time and energy to pay it forward supporting newcomers fearful, destroyed and seeking help with addiction
Topo Chico, ice cold in the glass bottle
My brother. For showing up for me today
A new day, a chance to start again
My physical health that holds me when my mental struggles
A roof over my head, food, water
Communities like this to remind those of us who spend a lot of time alone that there is a space to go and share in the good in each other’s life
8 years in this hell. Go to meetings. Don’t have a sponsor but have tried to get one. Not sure how. Tried to close my account, but they left it open. Abuse adderall and stayed up for 48 hours straight since being paid losing every cent and borrowing more. Can’t pay mortgage even late.
Have been doing this for EIGHT YEARS. What is wrong with me? I hide it well enough and stopped borrowing from friends and family since coming clean years ago. I thought I hit rock bottom when I used other people’s money to gamble years ago and ruined a relationship. But here I am.
My home is falling apart, has mold, $100k in debt. And yet I keep doing the same thing. Insanity. Grateful for any new perspective or wisdom
Or suggestions.
I have a higher power, I know I am
Powerless. The monster in me comes out when I’m bored and on Adderall and there’s no stopping it.
I’m a high earner in a high pressure job so I can outrun it for now…, but I know another rock bottom is around the corner. I need help.
It’s all online. Sports and slots. I tried Gamban and have excluded from every site except the one who won’t disable the account
44/F single, homeowner, no relationship w blood family, very few friends