Religion /sexual orientation
I am 16 years old boy, i live in monastir in a muslim household, my parents and siblings are religious but last year i became non religious, it’s been a tough road telling my parents about it was really difficult, they tried to help me find god again by making me visit a sheikh but i wasn’t convinced, this non religious thing has a reason. This is where things get complicated it’s jot just about not thinking that god exists but it’s deeper than that, since 5th grade i had some kind of a crush on a friend of mine, and he was also a boy, i never admitted it because i still believed in god,i used to pray every night for god to fix me and make the whole thing goes away, but it never worked, for the next years i didn’t really care about it that much, the feelings for the guy never faded away matter of fact they got stronger, and i developed more feelings for other guys and girls
In 9th grade i was convinced that i was bisexual, however i didn’t leave islam immediately, the next year was the year i left not only because of that but after searching a lot my whole perspective changed, i wish i could tell my family about my sexual orientation but i’m too scared, i feel like a disappointment to my father mostly because he expects a lot from me. I told about 6 friends that i’m Bi and none of their reactions were bad they accepted it and told me they will keep it a secret. Please if you have any advice tell me, if you’re going to hate, keep it to yourself. I feel like I’m rejected by god, by my parents and by my whole society. Somehow i feel coming out will make me feel relieved, the burden of hiding it is just too heavy i can’t hold it much longer. I need help ASAP