first time being in a relationship, how do I stop feeling this worry? (19F and 19M)
how do people do long term relationships, especially when it comes to long distance (for context, we went to high school together, but we didn’t talk to each other until he joined the navy. we talked online for 2 months, the once he graduated, he came back for two weeks, and we spent almost every day together and became official within those two weeks and now he’s going back away for 3 months). so i just got into a relationship, but we were talking for two months before we started officially dating and the thought of him losing feelings for me one day is just so persistent. i guess it’s because ive always had the mentality that everything is temporary, and you know feelings don’t stay the same, and im so scared of this deep love that we have for each other just being the honeymoon phase. ive never experienced this with anyone, hes my first kiss, my first boyfriend (im 19 btw). ive waited to meet someone i actually loved to give my first kiss to, and now that ive actually met that person, im so scared of losing them. the thought of just looking back at these moments that we’ve shared and already “mourning” them in a way like it’s all going to be over soon just won’t stop. i’m always thinking about this one guy that i talked to, and how he was the first guy i liked in high school and “talked to”, but we never actually dated. and i was the first girl too. then after we stopped talking, i know it hurt him the way that we ended, but i figured he’d be over it once he got into a two year relationship. they broke up once high school ended, and i was the first girl that he talked to right after (he texted me looking for closure btw). then once college started, we just drifted apart and he got into a relationship. even in the relationship that he’s in now, i was the first girl that he followed once they started having problems. i always think about him, but not in the way of “the feelings i once had for him”, but i think about the way he “loves” you know. you know how they say “i hope this kind of love never finds me”, kind of like that. i once believed that everything isn’t meant to be “forever”. everything has its “course” and its impact is what’s “forever”, and how that shapes us. but then, once i became tired of talking stage after talking stage, i soon realized the love that i have and the love that i want to give is one that’s eternal you know. but i think about that one guy, and how the version of him that i knew used to love the same way that i did (like how i want something genuine “forever”), but then after his relationship and we started talking again, he had changed. it’s almost like we swapped mentalities. now he wanted to experience just “living his life” with no serious commitments you know, and the same way that i saw him change, im scared of the guy that im dating changing like that too.