u/ConsistentNerve8157

this is going to be really long some parts might not make sense or be confusing so for that i’m sorry🙃 because it’s a complicated story but i hope this could maybe help somebody who has a similar situation to have the courage to go non contacts. and since it’s been close to a year of me going no contact with my brother who sexually abused me when i was younger i thought i would share the texts that made me go no contact.

for context: my (19f, 17 at the time) brother (25m, 23 at the time) had told one of his friends about the abuse years ago and that same friend was trying to repair his relationship with his dad and clear his conscience so he told his dad what my brother said about the abuse. his dad then told my parents and my parents then asked me and my brother about it, if it happened. (sorry if that’s confusing it lowkey is)

i had never once acknowledged the abuse, said anything to anyone, or even thought it was real. it happened when i was young, i still do not have a good memory of it and cannot remember exactly what age the abuse started and stopped. inappropriate behavior followed afterwards for years, as i was going through puberty he would make comments about how big my boobs are getting, how my curvy body was his type, and hugs that had what would look like innocent touches but made my skin crawl and have a pit in my stomach.

it took awhile after my parents told me they knew about the abuse for me to start feeling anything towards my brother. i went through a mental breakdown and all the stages of grief and after awhile i stopped contacting him naturally. thankfully my parents have been SO supportive and i am forever grateful for that. because of my breakdown i almost didn’t graduate high school because of my attendance.

a few months after everything came out he sent this LONG letter, even recorded himself reading it so he could “feel his emotion” LMAO. he sent it to my mom first, she read the letter and listened to it and cried and wanted to know what i think. because it’s such a long letter and a bunch of nonsense because he was never a good student and can’t write for anything i’ll try to cover the main points. he blamed my dad for his actions that he believe led to the abuse which is such BS, claims my dad was abusive and used things to control him, which i get the controlling part but to call it abuse is crazy. he begged me not to hate his gf for moving them to hawaii (i don’t hate his gf for that if anything i love her because he is now FAR away from me), said he didn’t remember any kinds of abuse but could think of certain inappropriate situation but believes me when i say there was, apologized profusely and begged me to talk or redo a trip we did a few years prior that got ruined because of his relationship problems and his temper and asked me to call him.

that letter is still laughable to this day. i did not respond to him and any communication i was having with him through that point was through my mom (to this day they still occasionally talk, i have mixed feelings about that but honestly as long as she doesn’t tell me what they’re talking about or when she’s talking to him i don’t care)

he had written this text before graduation but i had blocked him so i never saw it, but i was on my ipad and then saw it and decided to finally go no contact.

since then he had tried to enroll in the police academy in his area (god he is so stupid), obviously they contacted me and had me fill out a questionnaire which i vaguely mentioned the abuse and jus told him he’d not a good person who can be trusted, about a week after that a detective from that police department called me and asked to explain what i wrote (this is the first time that i have ever disclosed the abuse to the police or anything like that. because it happened when we were young and i didn’t acknowledge it for years i didn’t see why i should), he was very kind and listened to me and made sure that i was comfortable with what i was going to share. i felt really heard and like he believed me which felt really good. OBVIOUSLY that loser did not get into the police academy because of that and his history of drug use (seriously he knew that they would contact me so i have no idea what he was thinking. anyway, now i have an amazing therapist who’s really helped me to navigate this whole process, i also take medication that helps me with my mental illnesses, and my family and friends being so supportive and loving has definitely made this a lot easier.

i still occasionally have nightmares and things that trigger me but other than that i am genuinely in such a good place mentally and feel so happy and free now that i don’t have this weight on me from carrying all of that trauma by myself for years. i don’t think about him, he’s irrelevant to me. i still am dealing with body image issues that have stemmed from the abuse but im getting better.

anyway i know this was long and probably confusing but if anyone is here and like i said has a similar situation happen i just want you to know that you’re not alone, you WILL feel better cutting them off and you are so strong.

if you guys have any questions, lmk. 🙃