u/ConsistentWord6170

I have provlem, that probably a lot of leaders had in the beginning. Basically I'm not confidwnt to ask followers to dance unless i know them from before.
I've been dancing for 5 months now and i go to 4 lessons per week with two different amazing instructors. On Saturdays and practice with 2-3 partners the combinations we learned during the week and we dance for hours. I also took 5-6 provate lessons during those 5 months.
In the groups with these teachers I'm one of the most confident guys and both followers and leaders say that i'm learning very quick and i'm doing better than the other leaders from those groups for these 5 months. I get the combinations quickly and of course my technique is nothing to be jealous of, but i try to improve and i'm having fun.
I went to my first social when I was at my third week since i started dancing and i've been going to socials since then maybe 2 times a month. I also went already to two festivals.
The problem i'm having is confidence at parties. I see that 99% of the people on the parties arw better than me. When i ask a follower that i don't know from before i show 20% of what I actually know. I kind of forget most of the things I know and i do very basic stuff. I ask another follower to ask at that party, the same thing happens and i just lose confidence. I vene sit and watch videos from my classes so i can do the moves on my next dance and i again do not do that move, because i just forget almost everything.
I then dance with one of the followers that I know a few times and then I leave the party, always with my head down. I'm never happy after a party and this doesn't improve for 4 months already.
I've read here, that I should just push through and ask more followers anyway, but i just can't do that when i see what other leaders are doing with them. I feel that followers will be bored i lose confidence and just don't ask them to dance.
I know most of the leaders had this issue, so how did you overcome this?
I'm thinking of going only to small local socials where i can dance with familiar followers for a while until i build some confidence. I can't think of any other way to fix this.
When i know the follower even a little bit, i usually remember the moves and i can complete the dance knowing i could do better, but still happy i did it.
Thank you all for your recommendations

I'm going to classes for 6 weeks now. I'm in three different groups, so i go to 5 classes a week and usually one individual lesson. All my teachers are amazing dancers and teachers, so i'm making progress and they all say that. I usually go to one social a week. My first one was at the 10th day since i started, so i'm ve been to 5 socials. When we go there i'm of course nervous and i dance with 2-3 followers that i don't know, because on those socials they are all advanced and i get so nervous that i can't do these moves so i don't invite them.
When one of my group followers get asked to dance and the lead is advanced they dance like they have been dancing for 2 years. It is so easy for the followers to enjoy the party and i stay there nervous and anxious. It is so frustrating. They then come and tell me how amazing is to dance with someone who is leading them like that and i get even a bit upset. Not because i'm not happy for them, but because i can't enjoy the same way and i know i probably need another like 9 months to be able to enjoy a bit these parties.

How should i deal with this? Have you had the same experience as a beginner lead and what to do to improve faster and be more relaxed at parties with mostly advanced followers?

Thank you in advance for the advice

Hi all,

I started classes 3 weeks ago. I liked it a lot in the first two weeks and i even signed up for three different groups so i can go Mon to Fri every day, because i want to progress fast and also i want to do something every day.
My problem is that on each of the three classes the teachers are showing us new stuff every time. Not that different between each class, so that is not the problem. My problem is that we (the students) do not get to practice what we have learned and we already moved to the new things. I have done one move three-four times and that's it. A new one comes along and when i have to do that move which we learned 2 weeks ago i forgot how to do it because we didn't practice it enough for my brain and body to really remember. The other students say the same thing, so it is not just me.
My question here is - has this been also your experience when you were starting? I mean showing us already 5-6 combinations and waves in the first three weeks is a lot at least for me. Is this the way this goes everywhere? What is the rush, i don't understand.

I just went on my third lesson of bachata. I enjoy it a lot and surprisingly for me it already feels like I dance something. Yesterday the teacher showed us the wave and on the movement where you have to do like a sitting position my lower back hurts everytime i do it. Today when i woke up i feel a little pain, but it is probably a muscle pain from not moving that part probably never before 😄 I'm a little worried because I had lower back issues before and sometimes i feel that coming back, but very mild. My question is am I just doing this wrongly as a movement or the lower back should be engaged? I'm worried that i might have to stop dancing because of this and the thought of it just devastates me.

Has anyone had lower back issues back in time and they resurfaced once you started bachata and also if this is an issue for me can i somehow adjust so i don't do these movements so much? I actually want to do sensual bachata, but i might have to change that thought if it will be a problem. I don't want to stop the lessons and my dream to be able to dance socially 😞