r/Bachata

I have provlem, that probably a lot of leaders had in the beginning. Basically I'm not confidwnt to ask followers to dance unless i know them from before.
I've been dancing for 5 months now and i go to 4 lessons per week with two different amazing instructors. On Saturdays and practice with 2-3 partners the combinations we learned during the week and we dance for hours. I also took 5-6 provate lessons during those 5 months.
In the groups with these teachers I'm one of the most confident guys and both followers and leaders say that i'm learning very quick and i'm doing better than the other leaders from those groups for these 5 months. I get the combinations quickly and of course my technique is nothing to be jealous of, but i try to improve and i'm having fun.
I went to my first social when I was at my third week since i started dancing and i've been going to socials since then maybe 2 times a month. I also went already to two festivals.
The problem i'm having is confidence at parties. I see that 99% of the people on the parties arw better than me. When i ask a follower that i don't know from before i show 20% of what I actually know. I kind of forget most of the things I know and i do very basic stuff. I ask another follower to ask at that party, the same thing happens and i just lose confidence. I vene sit and watch videos from my classes so i can do the moves on my next dance and i again do not do that move, because i just forget almost everything.
I then dance with one of the followers that I know a few times and then I leave the party, always with my head down. I'm never happy after a party and this doesn't improve for 4 months already.
I've read here, that I should just push through and ask more followers anyway, but i just can't do that when i see what other leaders are doing with them. I feel that followers will be bored i lose confidence and just don't ask them to dance.
I know most of the leaders had this issue, so how did you overcome this?
I'm thinking of going only to small local socials where i can dance with familiar followers for a while until i build some confidence. I can't think of any other way to fix this.
When i know the follower even a little bit, i usually remember the moves and i can complete the dance knowing i could do better, but still happy i did it.
Thank you all for your recommendations

I am a new follow and recently we were learning the wave and sometimes leads will lead the wave in a way where I end up rolling against their chest and to be fair I am new, so I didn’t foresee that would happen when I attempt a more exaggerated wave.
I don’t mind it happening, but I was worried it might be inappropriate, so I asked the teacher if our chests are supposed to touch - she said no.

I have since limited my movement if the guy doesn’t give me much space, but every now and then it happens and I feel embarrassed. Am I overthinking? We are not really doing anything sensual in class, so I don’t know where I am standing. I don’t want to seem like I’m coming on to anyone.

Does anyone have recommendations for dance trainers? I have Pana Míos but they fell apart in 7 months so I’m not happy about the quality. I have fuegos which got a bit scruffy but stayed intact. Any other good brands?

My friend is turning 40 next month and he's been to a couple bachata socials, but he said he felt weird dancing with strangers that were much younger than him. Ladies, is this a problem? I'm 30, but I never even considered this tbh. Maybe he has a point. What am I going to do when I get older? I see his point that he may feel out of place and that people may judge him.

For people who have been dancing bachata for a while, at what stage do you think most bachata relationships are likely to break up?

Is it more common in the beginner stage, when people are still getting into the scene and figuring things out?
Or during the intermediate stage, when they start going to more socials, congresses, workshops, and meeting a much larger number of people?

Or does it happen more at the advanced stage, when dancing becomes a much bigger part of someone’s lifestyle and they have more connections within the scene?

I’m curious if anyone has noticed a particular stage where relationships tend to become more difficult or break down more often. And if so, why do you think that happens?

I recently came across some instructors in my community advertising about bachata certifications. It seems to have levels(mostly beginners) but it seems like you need to attend a class or two to get certified. Are they a thing? I personally feel that it doesn't matter if I have a certificate or not. And no one at the socials is going to ask for certifications. What are everyone's thoughts on these? Are they just money making scams ?

Im flying to Kazakhstan for a wedding and want to use the opportunity and go to a bachata festival there. Since the scene is russian-speaking and Kazakhstan is one of the few countries russians can easily travel to I imagine it to be very similar to russian festivals. Ive heard that the lead/follow ratio in Russia is horrible. Has anyone been to a dancing event in Kazakhstan? I dont want to spend 500€ just wait for 1-2 dances the whole night.

I'm a follow and beginner sensual Bachata dancer. I think I might have a very weak core because we just started to learn this move and I have difficulties holding my own weight. I also get lower back pain after a while when I try to practice this move at home.

Are there any specific core exercises that will help with this? Or will any ab workout help? I also have slight anterior pelvic tilt so I suppose I really need to improve my core strength.