i feel like giving up on her - rant
its someone who's like rose to me but rose have spikes too. Lately i have been feeling like giving up on them already because its burning tbh - no its not their chronic illness but how they have been with me. She is my ex, yet i choose to care for her be there for her because i know how hard it can be but she gets very disrespectful when she gets mad about something and mostly she gets triggered because of me over something you wouldnt normally. Yet even hurt I try to be polite, tell myself that maybe its because of already being overstimulated because of what shes going thru but even then she has never ever considered to apologize or take her words back. every time such thing happens - i feel bad for myself - she makes me feel smaller like as if i only bring nothing but misery and problems. She has never ever took time to appreciate what i do for her no never. yk now i just wanna stay away from her as much as possible because its nothing but only scary with her. its just sad how the very same person i loved very much like i could do anything for her is the same person i am scared of and wanna run away from her as far as possible. now the only conflict left inside me is - whether to stay and endure until shes okay or do something for myself for first time.