Hello, this might sound small, but it’s really affecting me.
I’m a senior in college and have never been in a relationship. I grew up believing God didn’t want me with anyone, so whenever I liked a guy and he liked me back, I’d panic and cut it off, thinking it was wrong or a “counterfeit.” It became a pattern.
Now a family friend set me up with her son, and I actually like him. But I’m spiraling. I feel excited, but also guilty, like I’m doing something wrong or interfering with God’s plan. I even felt bad just showing my friends his profile.
They ended up following him from my phone, and I got really upset because it felt like I ruined everything. He hasn’t accepted the request, and now I feel embarrassed, anxious, and scared I’ll lose the chance entirely. I hate how much I care, and I feel out of control.
I also made a vow as a kid not to date until I met my husband, so now I’m questioning if even talking to him is against God’s will. I can’t tell if this is genuine conviction or anxiety/OCD.
Has anyone experienced something like this or have advice?