Post partum or checked out
I dont want to make this post super long, I want to give all details so you guys understand.
Details
-married 8 years together 15 years (3kids)
- thought everything was fine
- at 8 months post partum my wife's period finally came back
- I ended up finding some texts messages (between her & a man she knows) nothing serious all talking and kind of emotional messages.
- we ended up having a massive conversation about this (heated,emotional ect.) She said it stemmed from me not being their the previous years emotionally. We decided to push forward and move forward
- financially I am disabiled(get some support from government but shes also going back to work we have been around each other for about a year now and this has been causing some strain on us as well. I have a hard time staying in a position for even a couple of hours at a time ( I help out immensely in the home) basically stay at home father but get an income.
- from month 8-9PP she seemed to be trying but I can sense she was kind of emotionally numb
- month 10-11PP she says she feels that shes been checked out since around month 8 ( there has been no contact at all with the other person) she has agreed she would tell me shes done so I dont have to go threw that hurt again. She does say she does want to keep trying but she doesnt show me any affection or any love like she used too. She just shows bare minimum and I always have to initiate it for her to show me something back. Sex has been less and less but when we have it its very much filled with love. I havent been intimate in few days because she says she has no desire right now - connected to being touched out or postpartum(breastfeeding)?? Im not sure
She has major resentment about how I used to be before and always brings it up i have made massive improvements since month 7 and have dedicated myself to be the best father and husband I can be and at least try in things instead of shut down life before. All though I was really sick im slowly improving,But slowly getting sick again. I also noticed a weird search on a family home electronics of how she fell out love as well as how to get me to fall out of love which crushed me to my knees.
I love my family, I dont want it to break apart. Ill do anything.
She just seems like she doesnt care..I have no idea if it has to do with Postpartum or how shes feeling. She does not seem like she has been acting the same since month 8 when her period showed back up but I can't be foresure of that has anything to do with it. She has admitted to having hormonal issues a month or 2 ago but now she doesnt really mention it.
(Additional details, her communication is horrendous, she seems like she is an avoidant type of person in a relationship. She shuts down so fast , she seems numb moves on and worries only about her self.)
Thanks in advance. Pm if you have advice please
Post partum or she just checked out