u/ConstanceVigilante

What does it take for men to want commitment, and what could my issue be?

I obviously understand that each man is different. But I am struggling with this, and mostly just want to get some opinions.

I’m describing my qualities here.

I’m 25, decent enough looking, I clean up well and dress mostly feminine, and I’m not overweight.

I work as an engineer making six figures, have several hobbies I actually do regularly (drawing, painting, singing, playing instruments, cooking, photography, word puzzles, writing, a lot of travel, etc.) I read a lot and have a lot to say about a lot of different topics.

I’m very energetic and socially lively, have good friends, am kind to people and genuinely want to learn about them and their interests. I love intellectual discussions, but also love lighthearted banter, cringy internet humor, memes, etc. I think I’m pretty easygoing and usually down to hang out. I never let anybody pay for me, and usually never make my personal logistics anyone else’s problem. I don’t take myself too seriously, especially in social situations.

I’m an atheist and a liberal (but I laugh at a lot of extreme liberal takes). I do want to get married/have kids by my early 30s at the latest - but dating has never gone anywhere for me. I can’t feel attraction at all without familiarity, so apps are a no go (I’ve tried) - but in my extended/social circle, I’m pretty bad at getting commitment-level interest.

TL;DR - I think I am well adjusted.

I get men who want to be friends with me, they think I’m attractive, we’ll date maybe for a bit - but I always get told eventually that it’s not going to work long term. We always stay friends (who actually hang out like friends) though, and I wouldn’t says I’ve ever been ghosted, “used” or anything dramatic like that.

Maybe there’s something going on that I’m not sure about. Thoughts welcome!

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u/ConstanceVigilante — 9 days ago