"What do you mean, you will make it work?" Glafthan asked, with definite worry. "You don't even breathe the same type of atmosphere!"
"Ah calm down we won't need it, we make half the rooms earthlike and half the rooms sloirglike and the other guys are *robots*" The human, covered by that thing which they call hel-met, did not show his face. He wasn't trying to be rude or mysterious, it simply wasn't possible for the humans to build these devices perfectly- a fact which confused Glafthan to no ends.
Why would they even wear an imperfect device?
"Keith Rich-Hards. I am very serious, you could die. Not only because you will meet hostility from the Morl, but also because the very result of your plan is detrimental to your health in very much every way."
Glafthan was an alien of the species Nutuksoid. He was very tall, fine and very serious. He searched his brain for a good way to communicate with the, obviously insane, human being. Though he had long assumed that all humans might be insane, he wasn't going to let a discrimination cloud his mind yet.
"Your culture records the trans-action. And I *implore* you to compare this situation with a trans-action Keith."
The human's form was calm, they would normally use their faces to express emotion, which the device on Keith's head inhibited. The stupid imperfect hel-met. It was just a sort of polycarbon orb, coated in gold and copper alloys, enhanced with metallic rings to give it rigidity.
"What you gain, is very much less favorable than what you offer, here."
Glafthan's eyes widened, and focused the human with extremely wide pupils. A gesture that was considered "cute" by the humans, another absoultely harebrained concept that didn't even make sense.
They would domesticate creatures and breed them in order for them to resemble human children- except for the part where a child does what a parent demands, because somehow rebellion amused them.
"Look Glafthan, you have to take risks to get shit done okay? We're boarding the Aidless Sphere of Blackness and then we are modifying it's internal systems to support humans."
"Because it's black and what you consider low in temperature?! It's insanity Keith we are going to breach the hull of an entirely different eco-system, we are going to battle the crew, we are going to destroy parts of it in the process."
"Now you're talking my language. Destroy some stuff, take some hostages- also you are talking my language literally! You connected pro and cess into a single phrase this time! Good job!"
"I need to speak fast because there is too much to say for you to get a clear picture of what is going-"
"EXACTLY! Now pull out your swordy thing, strap in and we're colliding with the dig end first!"
"Do not pushdownthehtrottl-"
But he did push down the throttle and they did collide with the alien ship, they did fight their way in, shoulder by shoulder, and captain Keith did conquer the enemy ship. And much like Glafthan said, it was utterly useless for him at first. The cost of fixing the live-sustaining systems was higher than building a whole new ship- which is why Keith did not fix it. He preferred to keep his old helmet, and it didn't make sense because the Jaspifacers could have made him a perfect void-mask of crystals that would have mimicked his own face, or shown a clear picture of it, or even incorporate 3D projections.
Nah but he *liked* his old helmet, because it made him "look cool". It deflected the solar radiation *well enough to keep his eyes healthy* so it was *good enough*.
He and his insane clan of mercenaries had worked for Glafthan for years. They were battle brothers. Somehow, Glafthan had lost track of what their relationship truly was- and thats exactly where the human would just say "yes".
This time they had captured an enemy ship, and they had then integrated it into the mercenary fleet.
It wasn't useful for the humans, or the sloirg, but they crewed it with robots. Just adding one random ship, with absoultely different tactical role into the fleet.
But thats when Glafthan realized that this is what the humans had been doing with him after being his contractors.