My boyfriends family keeps asking and pressuring me to have children
I (21F) recently just graduated from a University with two Bachelors degrees and i’m starting a Master’s degree this upcoming September and I will be moving in with my boyfriend (21M) as I was fortunate enough to get into a program in his city (we have been LDR for 3 years but are from the same city and visit to see our families often). I’ve been dreading this upcoming week since I will be seeing them for dinner with my bf. I’m not sure how to navigate the question of when i’m having kids and i’m honestly quite tired of the question since my response has always been the same: I’m planning to be a doctor and want to focus on my career and will be in school till in 28-30. Yet despite my response they still ask EVERYTIME I see them (even one time in front of my dad who is extremely anti-children). My bfs dad has some fascination to have 5 grand children and that dream unfortunately has been laid on to me. I have frequently said I am planning on only having one in my 30’s and thats been quite an upset to the point they’ve talked to my bf if i’m really “the one”. I’m worried this might create a rift in my relationship and future goals as their pressuring has gotten worse throughout our 3 years together. They’ve constantly mentioned having kids young is the best since “you have more time and your body is more abled”, just another way of saying i’m more fertile…. They frequently diminish my worth by implying my classes are easy and that I could have kids during medical school, while at the same time putting their son on a pedestal and telling him to focus on school. Even our decision to live together was met with uncertainty between his parents claiming we are too young and that i’m going to ruin his formative years of when he’s able to have fun, which doesn’t make much sense as they imply i’m young enough to have kids. Just currently tired of being treated as a baby machine and i’m not sure how to answer the question of when i’m having kids in a way that will make them stop pressuring. I believe it will only get worse since I graduated and will be living with him in 3 months and just want to stop the questions or at least get them on a page where they can understand i’m not an upcoming trad wife but a hard working woman.
EDIT: My boyfriend has defended me in many occurrences, just not within a form that has been firm or stern enough hence their relentless insistence. I have such discussed this with him even mentioning advice given on this page. This post was more-so advice on how I should answer and how he should answer since clearly nothing was working before.