Should I tell the guy I’m causally dating I’m a huge virgin?
Hi, I’m a 21F and a virgin and I’ve never had sex or dated because I’ve always been a very nerdy to myself kind of girl. But also got conventionally” attractive” the older I got and I’m also a model. So everyone just assumes I’ve already banged a lot and dated tons. Which is untrue (Although now I wish it wasn’t).
However over the past few weeks I’ve taken an interest in dating. Before this I’d never been on a first date. My whole life I’ve rejected men because of their politics. I hate being glorified because I’m a “virgin”. I hate the idea of men “conquering” me. And I hate dating a guy who is not aligned with me politically. And as someone who was against dating apps it didn’t help I lived in a conservative neighbourhood and went to conservative schools. It made wanting men impossible. So I was turned off the idea until I could move out to a more liberal place permanently.
Fast forward now: I just turned 21, moved out to a different city permanently (I worked here for modelling jobs before) but now I also study at university here. Hence why I downloaded tinder and matched with this guy who is 24 about 3 weeks ago. Initially I didn’t plan to have any sort of sex or even kiss him but by the end of the date it went well so I went back to his apartment.
We ended up watching a movie for 2 hours and cuddling. I don’t believe in purity culture so although this was new to me I was totally down. I want to follow my feelings and my intuition.
I ended being nervous but going for my first kiss ever, and when things escalated further I told him we can’t have sex unless he gets tested and vice Versa. This was true because I believe in #SafeSex but another huge reason was because I’m a… VIRGIN.
This is the first time I ever cuddled or even kissed a man. In fact the first time I’ve had my hand held by one. And also the first date I’d ever been on as I was a chronic man rejector. And if I’m being honest when I was with him I was completely horny. I’ve been approached by lots of guys but none have been my exact type physically or personality. He’s 6ft2 and has an eight pack (he was walking around without his shirt and he gyms regularly and does MMA fighting/modelling part time). Smart and very very physically affectionate. #MyType.
In the end we never had penetrative sex (mostly because I was virgin and of course safety reasons) but he was really attracted to me so he kindly asked to eat me out and I let him. He was very excited to do so. In fact I told him I didn’t shave and he insisted it was okay. He said as very excited “I really want to make you feel good if you want. I’d love to eat you out, I don’t care about the hair”.
When I told one of my friends she congratulated me and laughed. She said I found an “eater”.
She was right. He also sucked my tits. I had a great time. But I never did anything for him in return. In fact he didn’t ask. Booked my own Uber after we chilled/cuddled and talked for another 2 hours or so and went home.
I’m kind of nervous because we are supposed to be meeting again next week and we both decided we want consistent casual sex + dating. I don’t know if I want a relationship and I’m also not emotionally attached. So this arrangement would be perfect for me so I can continue to date other men too.
Ideally I want to go on dates with him then sex after. Occasion stay the night if it’s too late. That’s our “arrangement”.
Also important to note he showed me his dick because I asked as a joke when I was at his apartment. Didn’t think he would actually whip it out lol.
Safe to say it VERY VERY VERY thick (I was so SHOCKED. I’ve never seen a penis before… but I own a 6 inch dildo I’ve never tried with 3.7 inch girth. His girth was about maybe even more than double that. I didn’t know they could be so thick. So I had a visibly shocked look and my face). And it was also around 7-8 inches when he was soft. Apart of me is so excited to see what that feels like.
I heard big dicks are great if a guy is nice and knows how to use it. He seems very attentive so I assume he would know.
But I’m also nervous he will have trouble fitting it in me lol. I’ve only ever been able to get 2 fingers up my vagina and my fingers are also very thin.
His fingers are very thick. So I thought about getting fingered by him and just thought “ouch”. But In an amusing way lol. I’m so curious about him.
Anyways I was wondering if I should tell him I’m a virgin? Will he be able to tell? Should I practice with a dildo first to get used to penetration?
My friends said it doesn’t matter. Just lube up tell him to go slow because it’s big and take it like a champ + keep my mouth shut about being a virgin since I don’t owe him anything.
But here’s the thing when he was about to kiss me (at the veryyy beginning of our date when we had a great vibe). I also implied I was nervous because I hadn’t done it in a while. I didn’t think my sexual attraction to him would escalate this far. I thought it was just a first date. No big deal.
But when he ate me out he also reassured me it’s okay to be nervous because I “hadn’t done it in a while”.
AKA now there’s an unspoken vibe that I’m not a virgin. When I am…
What do I do? Please let me know.
I really really really really wanna fuck him. But I don’t want to be stereotyped as a emotionally attached virgin.
HELP MEEEE