My Brain Shuts Down when there's More than Three People
I'm 32 years old and I still can't socialize at parties or any sort of gathering with more than three people. My brain gets overwhelmed and I just immediately retreat into myself, hopefully with something to put my attention on so I don't look weird (like a snack, someone's pet, etc.). If I force myself to socialize, one of two things happen: 1.) No one can hear me and I give up or 2.) I say something stupid because my mind is too focused on micromanaging everything I'm doing. I'm not even at the worst part yet. The discomfort shows on my face every single time. My boyfriend was unsure of how to describe for years, until someone at work said it looks like I'm in pain. Annnnndddd I'm just starting my career, so I need to figure out how to be normal at meetings, work events, etc. Which I'm not sure if I can at this point. Anyone else in a similar boat? Were you able to control it somehow and at least mask as a "normal" person until the end of the party? How???