u/ConstantPanic-101

For some background, I am a 41 yr old F. When I was 15 I was bucked off a horse and shattered my ankle and broke my leg. Has 3 surgeries in high school to repair.

About 4 years ago I saw a specialist for chronic pain and arthritis in it. UCSF recommended a wheelchair for 20-30 years. Not conducive with 3 teen girls and owning and operating my own chocolate shop. So I sought another specialist. This was is known nation wide. He preformed two surgeries in just under a year. The first to remove a mass amount of fluid and scar tissue. The second was a full replacement.

That was two years ago. He is now stating the other joints in my ankle are shot. Bone is chipped away and fluid is building up again. I was never made aware of other joint complications. Now my ankle is always the size of a large orange and in constant pain.

I have a cane for when it’s bad and a rolling prescription of tramadol. There has got to be another option. I don’t like using the meds all the time. Limits when I can drive (no public transportation in my area) and have to be on my feet all day for work. Plus my family has a history or addiction and my body adjust me to medications fast. They become less effective.

Is there anything I can do? I’m getting tired of the limited mobility and pain.

I need help please. I can’t do this anymore. For some background, I (40 yr f) grew up in a poor home with 4 of us kids. An older brother and younger sisters. I was the scapegoat. If something happened, my fault, if I achieved something, not good enough. Every function was about belittling and plain being mean to me. All with alcohol parents. A dad that passed out early was not involved, and a mother who drove drunk, spit, hit and everything else to me. She still tells everyone I’m an awful person who lies to get pity. Not true if you ask anyone. Still hurts to hear.
I currently live in same town <1600 people. My husband and I own our business (barely surviving with post covid and now tariffs). Recently my niece’s (14,17) filed predatory charges against my brother and moved in permanently with their mom. Who is a close friend of mine. During investigation I was contacted by sheriffs dep. I answered all questions. My brother did multiple predatory things to me growing up (some with witnesses) so now the investigation is moving forward. My husband has been my rock and support.
My father found out and cornered me. He had info I had not disclosed to family. And proceeded to berate me for not putting family first. Stating we could take care of it if true. Even agreed with brother that he was a 17 yr old boy at the time so it doesn’t matter. If it’s in the past get over it. My brother already blames me for telling anyone to begin with. That this is my fault. After contacting detective I was told it was my mom who was told by the detective and shared with my dad. Both parents have said if it’s in the past get over it and if you’re under age it doesn’t matter.
My brother was also banned from our home almost 10 yrs ago for displaying inappropriate behavior towards my daughter (5 at the time). He has been saying this is my fault too.
I tried to cut contact. Blocked them completely and explained (to an extent) to my 3 teen girls why they will no longer be involved in our lives. Today my dad came into my shop and proceeded to ask about me not responding to him and he still loves me. I tried to set boundaries, but I always revert back to a scared beaten child around them. As he leaves he states it shouldn’t matter if it’s in the past. Gaslighting again.
I need help setting stronger boundaries. I live in a tiny town where everyone knows everything. And running into each other is inevitable.
How do I stand up for myself? When my husband is with I’m better but he can’t always be at my side. I would move but am in so much debt with our business. We didn’t qualify for any help in Covid. Too small to count.