(english is my second language, plz be kind)
I have great friends, good family, but I feel alone during at night. I do feel happy, really but there's a heavy feeling on my chest.
The things I'm struggling with are basic to other people, but I feel like it gets too heavy for me, in a way?
I barely brush my teeth, feels like a chore to me (working on it). I barely clean my room, but I hate seeing how dirty it is yet I cant seem to clean up. I barely do chores and when I do, no one appreciates it (which, really it's fine?). Whenever I get alone time, I shut down, even if I'm with my friends, family, I shut down. I get quiet.
Parents keep on telling me that depression isn't real, that these mental health things are people who are dramatic, I don't agree but I can't argue to them about it. They told me, on my birthday, that don't go and believe things about those stupid mental health stuff.
I'm not forcing any of this, I just want to know. Tonight, actually, I cried, I don't know why. I feel heavy. I don't know if this is dramatic but I can definitely feel my heart breaking slowly.
I am healthy, physically, not sure about emotionally and mentally. I am 55kg, 5"0 (from ph). Normal weight, spoiled, I eat irregular meals, exercise at night.
Please tell me, so I can get better soon. I don't have money for a therapist or some pills, neither do I have someone to talk to about this. I just want to know. Thank you:)