u/Content-Tap-2778

I had ACL and Meniscus about 7 months ago. Hamstring graft.

Recovery has gone well and I’m back walking and being active with no issues. It’s still weak but I’m getting there.

Today was a normal day until I was just lifting my leg in the air on the sofa and then moving to full flex when it popped…like it has done many times before.

Ten minutes later I walked into the garden and the back of my knee was burning. Almost so much I couldn’t walk at all.

Since then I’ve been icing and resting, I’ve just got up in the night and my knee is swollen.

Of course I’ll be ringing the PT first thing tomorrow but I’m spiralling thinking I’ve just somehow ruined everything or my graft has failed. What else could it be?

Firstly. I love my son, he’s our first and is two weeks old now. When he isn’t crying I feel nothing but love and adoration.

But whenever he cries, I hate how my brain and body reacts. I just get this wild wave of irritation and stress. It makes me want to do anything I can to shut him up. I literally sit there grinding my teeth trying to be gentle whilst my body just feels angry.

It makes me feel like a failure? Like I lack empathy or some sort of key component that a father needs.

He doesn’t even cry much for a newborn and I literally hate the way I am.

Surely this isn’t normal. To be clear I don’t believe I would ever lose control to hurt them. My fear is I feel anger and not empathy or compassion.

I was so excited to have a son but so far I’m hating the experience.