r/daddit

I just got invited to yet another child free wedding and realized that my 8 year old has never been allowed at a wedding (I have been to 7 since they were 3) In fact, the last wedding that I have seen kids at was my own, 12 years ago. It makes me really sad that my son has missed out on this socialization experience that I had growing up. Of course, nobody is obligated to allow kids, but it's sad that what was once a community building event has now become more individualistic like nearly everything else in western society.

Dads, I am so not ready for this. Sure, we have TVs and iPads and YouTube, but all that is pretty well locked down- kids-only access and such. We only allow iPads on weekends when we don't have much going on, planes, and long car rides over 2 hours. Now I have a chromebook lurking in my house.

Update: 6-year-old just now: "Why does eveyone have a computer and I don't." - Man, what a world.

My son loves Paw Patrol. I feel indifferent about it. I took him to see the new movie and prepared myself to sit through a 1.5 hour long toy commercial.

But at the climax of the movie, (and I can’t believe I’m trying not to spoil a bloody Paw Patrol movie) they focus on the message of not giving up and (most importantly, IMO) not focusing on your mistakes.

I have been really guilty of that last part lately, and I needed to hear that. I got a bit choked up even.

As the credits role, I expect my kid to say the usual things after a movie, but the first thing out of his mouth with no prompts was “That movie had a good message. You don’t have to be perfect.”

God damn it Paw Patrol. Well done. I didn’t even want to watch this one, but I’m glad we did.

Incoming dad flex: Took my two kids (7 and 9) to a water park about 8 hours away, my wife is on a trip with her dad so just the 3 of us. With traffic and stops we did a total of 21 hours in the car on the way there and then back a couple days later. We were able to do it without screens. I'm felling very high on my own supply.

Key recommendations:

• they don't have phones or iPads so withdrawal was easier
• packed a couple hours worth of their favorite music
• we had a 60+ mins break to go to a playground mid way through each drive
• packed plenty of (analog) toys

it can be done!

I got my first kid shes about to be 3 months and ive been putting off working out for a while but i wanna get back to it, its hard to find time tho i get home from work and help the wife with our baby and let her rest the rest of the night. Im trying to get in shape not really ripped or anything just look muscular ig kinda dad bod but muscular lol how do yall do it?

Update: thank yall for the advice i do have some time during the nights so i might have to put the damn ps5 controller down and go workout 😂 ill have to unwind with working out from now on cz ive been feeling weaker lately and everything seems to hurt all the time so i definitely gotta strengthen myself

My son is 3 years old and swallowed a 1 inch sheet rock screw.

We’ve been in the hospital for a week now and they had to do surgery to remove the screw from his large intestine.

It was pretty invasive and his intestines are now in shock.

He’s had so many ivs put in and now has a tube going through his nose into his stomach to help vaccum out some of the stomach acid and fluids. He kept throwing up so they had to add that.

I’m beyond heart broken, and it breaks me down every time I see him cry and be in pain or any time that he has to get a new iv and I have to pin him down.

Do not wish any of this on my worse enemy

Our wives arranged a playdate for our four-year-olds this morning. That meant I was forced to spend three straight hours at another grown man's house with zero conversational preparation.

we do not know each other. We have never spoken a word. We are just two tired introverts trapped in the same backyard because our daughters bonded over plastic dinosaurs.

He opened the door at 10:15 AM, handed me an unopened can of seltzer, and led me to the patio. We then proceeded to stand side-by-side in near-total silence for two straight hours, watching the kids on the trampoline with the intensity of two border patrol agents monitoring an active fence.

Every fifteen minutes, one of us would throw out a single observation to keep the simulation running:

"Good water pressure on that sprinkler."

"Yeah, replaced the brass valve last April."

"Nice."

Then right back to ten minutes of unbroken silence.

I learned zero personal details about his job, his childhood, or his hobbies. But when we parted ways, we exchanged a firm, unspoken nod and I felt like I would DIE for this man. Easily the best social interaction I have had in six months.

Why is dad socializing either total social torture or an instant bond over lawn drainage?

My daughter is a year and a half and I really love being a dad, but as she starts to grow I have noticed that there are things I "have" to learn. I know and will teach her how to change a tire and how to cook and to juggle and I read with her and ... all the things that all the dads here celebrate.

But there's so much more! I am working on slight of hand so i can reliably pull a coin from her ear. I definitely need to learn some good jokes for kids. 1,000 dinosaur facts? How to do the Carlton? Silly tongue twisters?

What other wildly unimportant dad things should I definitely be learning?

Our daughter was born on November 4. I knew things were gonna be much different after, I'm not stupid. Of course we weren't able to for 1-2 months after. And I knew her libido was gonna drop a lot. But it's been four months since the last time and two months since the time before that. I think 3 times total since we had her in 9.5 months. Oof.

Edit: Wanted to address the comments about “i take the baby, she takes the baby” sort of thing going on. We’re just kind of loner types. Our recovery time is doing our own thing. And most nights it’s not “they’re on duty, so i’m in my office with the door closed” it’s more of one persons the primary, changing, feeding etc, with the other being the support. Making bottles, grabbing stuff when the other needs it, and then we play with him together. I’m mostly talking about missing date nights, or going and doing things together

Hey dads,

Little dude is now about 6 months old and it’s been a rollercoaster. Had about 2 weeks off when he was born, but that was it. Used all my PTO for it.

Wife was taking care of him as a SAHM for 5 months, until her PPD got so bad we bit the bullet and put him in daycare. For that whole time we were basically isolated from each other. Her at home, me at work. When I got home I took the baby, and she went to her office to rest and recover. Now it’s a bit more split after work, with her taking him 3 days a week, me taking him 2 and then just ad hoccing on the weekends.

But we both miss each other, and spending quality time together. Like yeah we can take care of the baby together, but we just don’t get quality alone time anymore.

Last night we put him to bed, and decided we were gonna drink wine and play mario kart, but even then he decided to wake up after 30 minutes and that was that. We only get about a day a month where someone can watch him, and it’s only a few hours.

Not sure what to do, i just miss my wife.

The days are dwindling before my first enters kindergarten and today I gave him a twenty second hug and with each second i was remembering each preceding year down to his infancy. I broke down crying and just thought about how much I wish I can relive the past. I think about how I wish I could have played more with him even though I was exhausted. All the ways I could have been a better dad. I wish I would have put my phone down more. Or taken him out to experience more. Or even just dance and be silly instead of keeping up with the house and catching up on sleep. I used to be his best friend and person to play with, but now he wants to play with the other kids at the playground without me. It feels like I'm losing my little baby and it's happening much faster than I anticipated.

Anyways, thanks for listening. I'm crying again lol. I'm sure plenty of you are in the same boat with me.

Me (37m) and my wife (37f) have 2 kids, a 5 year old and a 4 month old. We've been married for 7 years and I would say we've always had a poor sex life.

When we were trying for our second, we only had sex during ovulation periods and never had sex during the pregnancy. I understood at the time as she was very anxious due to previous miscarriages and years of failed attempts. It was hard but I tried my best to put it to the back of my mind and just be there emotionally through the pregnancy and look after our 5 year old.

In that past month it's really started to bother me and I sat her down last week and talked about it. I explained how my confidence and self esteem is rock bottom and I didn't understand how she was okay with letting it go that long without even bringing it up. I explained how I need intimacy as a way of feeling emotionally and physically connected to her, especially during the recent chaos of having two kids and getting no time Together. She said she understood and apologised... We agreed to buy some protection but she said she didn't know when in the day it can happen (She goes to bed early and I wake up early with both kids so she can sleep in).

All good right? So, we had a good couple of days after that and I felt happy with the outcome of the convo (a bit touchy/flirty, etc). But fast forward to this week, I felt really down about it again and she noticed in the evening. I mentioned it again but apologised as It hadn't been long since we had that first chat. This time though, she was angry about it as she didn't have a solution and didn't know how to fix it and wanted me to.

I'm really struggling with it all. I don't want to bring it up again. I do alot around the house, try and stay on top of cleaning and I've been trying to be more emotionally available and empathetic for her. Maybe I need to give it more time and back off? I feel like I've blown an internal fuse and the last few days. She hasn't come near me and it's been a bit tense/awkward ....

It's worth mentioning our 5 year old is very demanding of our time and it's been exhausting trying to keep everything ticking through the summer holidays.

I just feel like a neglected husband/parent slave tbh lol Any advice would be great.

Open ended question because this has been on my mind.

My daughter is 6. At her age I remember (and have confirmed with my parents) that I was quiet and introverted. I was perfectly happy to amuse myself for extended periods with toys and books. I liked having playdates but they weren't necessary most of the time.

My daughter is hyperverbal and hypersocial. She is always moving and talking, either with friends or singing and telling stories. She requires a partner for play and if a friend isn't over it's gonna be either myself or my wife. She makes friends immediately.

It's been a challenge for me to meet her where she is. She's lots of fun but I find myself "talked out" by the time breakfast is over on the weekends. As of yet we haven't been able to get her to amuse herself for more than a few minutes at a time. She needs a foil. This is NOT a complaint, just me marveling at producing a kid so unlike myself.

What's been your experience?

Kiddos are 2.5 and 4. My MIL has been a huge part of our kids lives. She has been their primary babysitter, after school care, etc.. save for weekends they see her near daily. Unfortunately, it looks like we're going to lose her sooner than later. She went from feeling a little off, to cancer diagnosis, to possibly hospice within less than a month.

When their great grandmas passed, they were much younger, and had almost no idea what was going on. With Grandma... it's much harder to dismiss. I'm not sure if we should let them say goodbye. Should we have them there for the viewing / burial. There's no right, or wrong just a coin toss as to what would be less traumatising in the long run.

For anyone that's experienced this horrible circumstance, how did you handle it?

Hey all,

As many of us have noticed, there’s been a big influx of bot accounts posting “funny” stories in this sub lately. I don’t know what they’re for- harvesting conversation data maybe, not sure. But it’s pretty bad.

It’s sad that many in this community seem unable to catch the tells, as well, but I suspect this sub probably has a lot of less tech-literate folks than average on Reddit and I guess that’s playing out.

Here’s a good example- but I’ve seen these every single day lately: https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/s/d2xRxd6PEm

This is a brand new account, zero karma, zero other contributions on the site, and the writing is exactly the kind of pithy, “funny” AI slop that many of us have grown accustomed to seeing.

This sub needs a combination of karma/account age requirements. I get that this may be a place people come for help in a pinch, but I think we also have a responsibility to keep our active members from being abused by these bots as well (ie unknowingly being used to train them, etc).

I don’t expect the admins to be able to keep up with all of these, but Reddit has tools to stop these kinds of accounts from posting and I really think they need to be enabled.

So I have a 5 month old (4 months adjusted) who just ABSOLUTELY loses it in the car. Screams bloody murder the entire way. We‘ve tried different car seats and now I’m getting some soothing toy to try (fingers crossed), but mentally I just don’t feel like I can keep it up.

I’ve been driving the baby home after work just the two of us and I just get so anxious, angry, and flustered. Not really sure what to do. It feels impossible to do deep breaths while she’s screaming and I don’t know, it doesn’t feel like this is something I’m getting used to. I am hating that I feel dread when I have to get her.

Any advice, tips, or just reflections on similar experiences would be amazing! Thanks!

I made one harmless dad comment last week: “Leave that crumb, mate. An ant is taking dinner home.”

Since then, my son has become the union representative for patio ants.

Yesterday I swept after breakfast and he stood in front of the dustpan with both arms out. “Dad, they have children.” I tried explaining that one cereal piece could feed roughly nine thousand ants and he said, very calmly, “Then nine thousand dads need it.”

This morning I found him breaking a cracker into microscopic bits and laying them in a neat line toward the back door. When I asked why, he whispered, “So they know where our kitchen is.”

I may of accidentally opened a restaurant with six-legged customers and no closing time. What completely innocent thing did you tell your kid that became a full household policy?

The answer may shock you...