Intimacy Issues with wife
Me (37m) and my wife (37f) have 2 kids, a 5 year old and a 4 month old. We've been married for 7 years and I would say we've always had a poor sex life.
When we were trying for our second, we only had sex during ovulation periods and never had sex during the pregnancy. I understood at the time as she was very anxious due to previous miscarriages and years of failed attempts. It was hard but I tried my best to put it to the back of my mind and just be there emotionally through the pregnancy and look after our 5 year old.
In that past month it's really started to bother me and I sat her down last week and talked about it. I explained how my confidence and self esteem is rock bottom and I didn't understand how she was okay with letting it go that long without even bringing it up. I explained how I need intimacy as a way of feeling emotionally and physically connected to her, especially during the recent chaos of having two kids and getting no time Together. She said she understood and apologised... We agreed to buy some protection but she said she didn't know when in the day it can happen (She goes to bed early and I wake up early with both kids so she can sleep in).
All good right? So, we had a good couple of days after that and I felt happy with the outcome of the convo (a bit touchy/flirty, etc). But fast forward to this week, I felt really down about it again and she noticed in the evening. I mentioned it again but apologised as It hadn't been long since we had that first chat. This time though, she was angry about it as she didn't have a solution and didn't know how to fix it and wanted me to.
I'm really struggling with it all. I don't want to bring it up again. I do alot around the house, try and stay on top of cleaning and I've been trying to be more emotionally available and empathetic for her. Maybe I need to give it more time and back off? I feel like I've blown an internal fuse and the last few days. She hasn't come near me and it's been a bit tense/awkward ....
It's worth mentioning our 5 year old is very demanding of our time and it's been exhausting trying to keep everything ticking through the summer holidays.
I just feel like a neglected husband/parent slave tbh lol Any advice would be great.