AITAH for questioning dating a solo dad of a severely autistic child
Hi I (28M), dated that guy (38M) for about 3 weeks. He was really sweet and took me on cute dates. I thought he was potentially the perfect match. But after only a few dates, I got to meet his son (6M).
I did think it was quite fast, but I am more than open to dating someone with a child. Except his child is severely autistic. Non-verbal, hyperactive, slightly violent (keep hitting stuff and tries to bite me all the time) - I believe stage 2 to 3 autism which high support needs who needs constant supervision and obviously takes a lot of his time. The kid gets upset 99% of the time and the house gets so chaotic as he has to keep moving and hitting stuff all the time.
He does share custody with his ex, but takes care of him most of the time (70% of the time at least).
So I got really scared. Because it all came so fast, and I understand he wanted me to be exposed to his life asap so I make up my mind, but I do believe better introduction could have been taken.
I told him that I was questioning dating him, and that I wasn’t sure. It hurt because I started to care for him a lot. But he told me that if I was scared, then I should move on. He also told me that it was because I was too young (and at this point I don’t think it’s a problem of age here).
He told me his life revolved entirely around his child. Which makes sense and I love that. But with a child that requires so much attention, I couldn’t see where a relationship could fit beside a couple dates here and there. I got confused because I believe he is so used to this life that he doesn’t realize how much effort that would require for someone that doesn’t have a child, let alone a high needs one.
I tried talking to him, but he has his reservations.
AITAH for questioning this “could-be” relationship?