u/ContributionDull9983

I am an avid member of a local climbing gym and after two years of attending I joined a friend group there where the people are really chill, its a co-ed group and there's about 12 of us total. Sometimes we go to bars after sessions. I invited a friend of mine from uni to attend. She's newer than I am to the sport but she's athletic and able so she fits in just fine.

I was happy things were going well for her and that she was fitting in, enjoying the group until a few months in she confided in me that her, one of the males in our group, and another male (I know of him because i've seen him at the bars but I don't know him that well) hung out without me knowing and that the both of them were asking her sexually invasive questions and made her uncomfortable. She didn't tell me everything and I could tell it was a lot for her to share already, but it was just a lot for me having social anxiety. At first I felt upset because I wish I was there, and that I was invited, maybe that wouldn't have happened to her, but I only told her that yes it was weird what they said and did, but the two guys didn't probably didn't mean anything of it. Now, she's avoiding the group and she will still spend time with me if I invite her out and she will still attend some of the climbing sessions but only if I'm there, basically. She doesn't even ask me if I am going she just only goes when I usually go (if she even goes) and she doesn't head out to go drinking with us anymore.

Did I mess something up? Is there some sort of cue that I might have missed? What do you even do in a situation like this? I'm worried my friend doesn't have many other friends outside of this climbing group since we're new grads and relatively new to the area. Not often, but i do invite my friend to some parties I have or things I'm doing every now and then that are separate from the climbing group.

reddit.com
u/ContributionDull9983 — 19 days ago