Should I (22F) meet my ex (22M) for “closure” or am I just setting myself back?
Hi, I’m in a bit of a dilemma and could really use some outside perspective.
My ex (22M) and I(22F) broke up about three months ago, after a 5 year long on-off relationship. We’ve been in partial no contact since, he hasn’t discussed the breakup even once. It wasn’t because of anything major, we just kept fighting about priorities and effort, and one day he said he was tired of trying and ended things. It felt really abrupt, and we never actually sat down and talked things through, so there was no real closure.
After the breakup, I reached out a couple of times, but the conversations were awkward and ended up in fights. Over the three months he did ask me how I was doing 2-3 times. About a month in, I asked if we could meet to clear the air, but he said it was too soon and he didn’t have the courage to face me. He said we could stay in touch, but I didn’t think it was a good idea because he never reached out himself.
Then around 2.5 months later, he asked me if I wanted to meet before I left town. I said no at the time (I think I was still hurt and a bit salty), but I kind of regret it now. I later told him I wasn’t leaving anymore, and the conversation just fizzled out.
We still haven’t seen each other since the breakup. I had unfollowed him, but he followed me again and sometimes likes my stories, so there’s this low-level contact still there.
Now I’m confused about whether I should reach out and ask to meet. Part of me wants closure since we never properly talked. Part of me is just curious to see how things feel in person. And if I’m being completely honest… there’s also a part of me that just wants to feel something again, even if it’s just one last time.
At the same time, I don’t know if this is a bad idea and will just set me back in moving on.
So yeah, should I reach out and ask to meet him? Or am I romanticizing something that’s better left alone?
TL;DR: Broke up 3 months ago without closure, haven’t met since. When I asked to meet, he said no. when he once asked to meet, I said no and regret it. Now I’m considering reaching out, partly for closure and partly because I want to see if I still have feelings/see what he feels and move on for once. Not sure if it’ll help me move on or just make things worse