Why does it have to be like this
I was right, it is my fault.After enough internal war and some external too i've become addicted to it.There is nothing wrong yet i still want to cry untill my tears turn red.My attempts of living still haunt me, you do too.I cant help but wonder, will it ever end?Will it get better, i do not know.I've apologized enough along the way, did not change a thing.Maybe i should bury my self deep under any tide.My battered hook holding tight on the illusion of an anchor.The pain overcomes me at times, yet i crave more.A change, a connection.Im so sick of watching, of playing a superficial role.I have been hardened to pain for years by now, yet fear sitll feels like the first time.You akin to others didnt deserve the fate you had with me.Fear stopped me again and again.But now it can change.Maybe since ive crawled towards the light of freedom i can live more fearless then before.Am i wrong?I do not know.Time for apologies and mercy has passed.I either die drowning or live the connection i yearned for way too long.
If you're reading this:
I want to be true to myself, i want to be true to this world.I want to be better for everyone who is pained by the memories they made with me.I will give back more than i took and i will build the world that me along with you deserve.Just to feel your hands caress my heart once more.