r/screamintothevoid

The way I see it, you’re living in limbo. Taking whatever scraps of connection you can get because it makes you feel wanted, makes you feel like a man, while always keeping one foot out the door waiting for the next thing to come along — if it hasn’t already.
The sad part is, I knew exactly what I wanted this time around. In the beginning, I genuinely thought you were it and more. Until I finally saw the real you.

You’re not a bad person. There’s actually so much about you that’s easy to love. But that’s the problem — you don’t really want to be loved. Real love suffocates you because it forces you to sit still long enough to face yourself. So instead, you chase validation. Little dopamine hits from attention, from people wanting you, from constantly needing proof that you’re enough.
All while ignoring what’s standing right in front of you.

Me? I know my worth. I know the kind of love I bring to the table. I’m the prize, and I’m done shrinking that truth just to make someone else comfortable.

I hate everything about this. I’m having a terrible time. Earth and humanity was highly overrated! 0/10… 2/10 the dogs are cool. But everything else can fuck all the way off to hell. I’m being held hostage by life and it’s bullshit!

Just reach out to me one last time... I won't be cold, I will accept you, I need you, but I can't contact you in case you are happier without me and don't want to remember 😞

I thought we had something special - a connection, an energy.... something. Sharing secret desires and risky behavior.

I feel like I ruined it by having to say something serious. I don't know if I scared you or bored you or... if it was just time to be over. You didn't follow the script in my head. You stepped back and away instead of engaging deeper.

I know it wasn't meant to last. The differences in age, in distance, assured that this would end some day. But I hoped someday was a long time from now.

I basked in your attention while trying to give you what you craved. I hope I left a lasting positive impression. That I'm someone you will remember fondly some day. Know that you will forever hold a spot in my heart.

I miss you.

I told you in the beginning what other did to me and you said you would never. I told you I was broken you said I wasn’t. I told I have a fucked up mind you said we would communicate. I told you I self sabotage you said you understood. You signed up for it. I told you I was too much to be loved and you lied saying you would love me anyways. I shared things with you, I shared my body, my mind, my heart after holding it hostage for 13 years I gave it to you. How could I be so stupid to fall for it again. You lied. I’m never going to be the same again. More shattered pieces of me. I hate myself for believing I could find happiness finally.

This is for men and women alike, but the sentiment is more geared towards men, since I have been on the other side. You talk about "dead bedrooms" "wife just leaving out of nowhere" "wife/ girlfriend nagging you." These are all things that started from somewhere. As a working mom, who would get off work and go, go, go until 3am sometimes, while dad just got off work and got to relax.

Give me a second, I'm going to explain.

Women don't have a choice most of the time, (and if you're a present, helpful father, this doesn't apply to you. ) When a man leaves the house, he doesn't have to ask if the mother will watch the kids. He just goes. When a woman leaves the house, she is expected to take the children, or has to ask the father to "watch" them. When/if they are "watching" them, they aren't present, the kids trash the house and that is more work she has to come home to.

Men are sexual beings, women are are emotional beings. If she is constantly overwhelmed, stressed, etc she can not pour from an empty cup. This also goes for stay at home mom's, when you (the man) gets off work you want to chill, but when does her job end? When you do a good job at work, you get praise. Do you praise your wife when you get home? No, you expect it from her. You likely get 2 days off a week, she gets zero. If you want a healthy relationship, maybe give her a full day a month to reset. You all are so quick to jump online, seek validation and give other women validation but you can't put in some work for your family?

Try this, when you get home, say "honey, I'm going to relax for 1 hour, but then I'm yours if you need anything." Don't go over that hour, stick to your word. In 1 hour, go up to her and ask if there is something you could do to lighten the load, chances are she will give you a very small task, but it will be big and meaningful to her! One less thing on an exhausted mom's to do list, feels like gold. Watch her mood shift. Tell her she's doing a great job, even when the house is a mess, because chances are, she's cleaned things you didn't notice; drawers, under bed, making sure you have clean work clothes, she's scheduled appointments, she's figured out all the school events. There are alot of things that you men don't see.

Take her to dinner at least every few weeks, or go on a walk, hold her hand, and above all else, reassure her that you are a team and she can lean on you as a partner when needed. Run her a bath, and actually occupy the children until she gets out of the bath. This woman chose you as her partner and the father of her children. Women can't feel emotionally safe if she constantly has to lead. Men are supposed to be the leaders, the problem solvers, chances are you can solve any problem if you pay attention. Appreciate the person you vowed to spend your life with and she will appreciate you 10 fold.

And to the women, love your man, hug him, show him affection, not all men will say it, but they need reassurance too. They are taught that through sex, but there are other ways to stimulate his mind. Tell him your proud of him, tell him he's gorgeous, tell him you crave him.

I left a partner who could not for the life of him understand my emotional needs, and it's because he never cared to listen. If you truly want a turn around, give them love in their love language, not yours, and I promise you your lives will change. Your relationship can go back to the way it was pre kids, if your only willing to put as much work into it as you do messaging other women, and watching porn.

If you are going to seek out other women and external validation, just leave her. Yes it will hurt her at first, but in the end it may save her. Not only will she find someone who is willing to be the man and lead, but she will find herself, because if she's going to do it alone beside you, she might as well do it alone and without you. At least now I get a break 8 days a month, I have an opportunity to take care of me during those 8 days, which in turn makes me a better mother. I couldn't keep pouring from an empty cup, I fill my own cup now and my children's, and I don't have to clean up after another full grown adult.

Edited to add: if she says she doesn't need help, don't believe her. Sometimes there are things you can do without her having to ask/ tell you. If she feels put on the spot chances are her exhausted/ overwhelmed brain won't even be able to think of something you can help with. She has other things she needs to remember/ think about. You see that kids candy wrapper on the floor you've walked by 12 times, pick it up. Trash can full? Take it out. Groceries needing put away, step in. There are many ways you can help without asking. But you know what? She had 17 items in her brain on a list and an order she was going to do it in, when it gets to item 15 and she realizes the wrapper is picked up, it will help. 16, trash is taken out? Confusion. 17, groceries put away!? A huge smile. Because for once someone finally took care of her and her needs. She spends so much time caring for you, the kids, the house, the pets, she needs someone to care and notice her!

I don't care about the distance. I don't care that the odds are not in our favor.

We have a connection and we should at least try to make it work.

Is the possible heartbreak worse than never knowing?

We should at least try.

Dating in this era feels less like romance and more like participating in a low-budget psychological experiment funded by a man who owns three rings, a podcast microphone, and unresolved maternal grief.
Everyone keeps talking about “mind games,” but nobody prepares you for the fact that modern psychological warfare is mostly just:
disappearing for twelve hours,
watching your Instagram story immediately,
replying “that’s crazy”
and then returning three business days later with “sorry, been in my head.”
Oh.
Were you?
Because I’ve been in the fucking trenches.
At this point I need military ribbons for surviving male communication styles alone.
One man flirted with me by becoming emotionally unavailable in increasingly creative ways.
Another tried to establish dominance through vague tweets.
One hit me with:
“I just think we mirror each other too intensely.”
What does that even mean, Theodore.
You work at a vape store.
And the thing is, I’m not even built for psychological warfare.
I’m too direct.
I’ll be standing there like:
“Do you like me or not?”
And a man will answer:
“I think our connection transcends labels.”
Translation:
he saw one shadow-work TikTok and now believes clarity is oppression.
I swear some men treat emotional honesty like it’s a hostage negotiation.
You ask a simple question and suddenly they’re pacing internally like:
“Don’t give away too much information. Stay evasive. Maintain tactical mystery.”
Meanwhile women are over here conducting forensic investigations because someone changed punctuation patterns.
“Hmm.
He used ‘lol’ instead of ‘lmao.’
Something catastrophic has happened.”
The worst part is the accidental escalation.
You think you’re having a normal interaction and suddenly this man has constructed a twelve-part internal mythology where your delayed response represents:
abandonment,
destiny,
betrayal,
and his villain origin story.
Sir.
I was in the shower.
I’ve realized psychological warfare isn’t even about manipulation anymore.
It’s just two emotionally exhausted people trying to regain control of themselves through increasingly strange behavioral choices while pretending they are “nonchalant.”
Nobody is nonchalant.
You’re all one emotionally charged voice note away from staring at the ceiling listening to The Night We Met like a Civil War widow waiting for a letter that will never come.

I'm sorry for all the weight

I get it I think..

I know its always me initiating contact- and might might always will be like that....

But.... If ever you decide it to be your turn.....

I'll be here waiting to hear from you.

I could never not care about you.

I've tried - it's doing me no good. It's hurting me more trying to convince myself you should be forgotten

So - I'm going to stop that

And 🫒 (haha it was a branch in the emoji screen - but you know what I mean ?)

If ever anyway.

You're special to me and I'm allowed to hold that feeling for you🦀

Its stupid dumb and unfair. Im not good at this whatever shit okay.

You don't get to be kind and funny in interesting ways, seem blissfully unaware of things, anarchistily supportive and nice to animals. Cute. ( like also conventional hot but im supposed to be upset with you right now ). Then go Having good taste in music, thinking is okay for you to do some home alone mcgiver ass shit. Not fucking fare dude okay. Rude. Like the fuck I got to live here.

Im not trying to start shit like that with a cis het guy atm tbh ngl all the acronym to promote a casual vibe. I am but the humble fool minding my own merriment, please keep me for a jest at best and nothing beyond it, or I'll burn so bright I fear I might disappear. Aaaahhhh why you got be cute with good music.

Just wanted to throw a hi 👋 into the void

Hey fucktard

The only reason my "soul is like a desert" is because you drank all the water and left me none.

I hope you scare everyone off with your shitty attitude, so you never get the chance to trash someone else's life ever again.

You're dismissed. Now go fuck yourself.

We had a family full of love. We had happiness. We had years and years together. And for months you pretended we were fine and everything was fine but you were checked out. Now I can’t close my eyes without seeing you with her. The deepest parts of my heart and soul were yours and now they’ve been ripped out of me and I can’t breathe. You broke me as a human and you don’t even care. I’m drowning and you aren’t there to save me. And I love you and I hate you so much.

I see you when you're down

And depressed, just a mess

I see you when you cry

When you're shy

When you want to die

I see you when you smile-

It takes a while

At least you're here

I see you

Yes, I see you

I'm alone with you

You're alone with me

I see you when you hide

And when you lie, it's no surprise

I see you when run from the light-

Within your eyes

I see you when you think-

That I don't notice all those scars

I see you

Yes, I see you

I'm alone with you

You're alone with me

What a mess you've made of everything

I'm alone with you-

You're alone with me

And I'm hoping that you will see yourself-

Like I see you

Yes, I see you

I see you

Yes, I see you

I'm alone with you

You're alone with me

I see you when you chase

All the dreams inside your head

I see you when you laugh

And when you love until the bitter end

I see you in the dark

At the dawn of something new

Yes, I see you

Even when you cry

And even when you're shy

You mean everything to me

Even when you lie

And even when you hide

You mean everything to me

Will never be anyone's first choice. I am the last resort. Im not the person people run to first. I will never be loved, not romantically or more than that. I will not be chosen first. I am always replaceable and the first one to be replaced. I have been in so much pain with no comfort for far too long. I genuinely give up. I hate this fucking life.

I could speak about your eyes for hours—

the way they sparkle

when excitement catches hold of you,

or when you look upon

something

or someone

you love.

The gentle lines that appear

when you smile or laugh,

like happiness itself

has learned your face by heart.

The worried look in your eyes

when the world turns unkind,

soft concern resting there

so naturally.

The wide surprise in them too,

filled with bright glee,

as if wonder still lives freely

inside you.

Your eyes are a wonderland

I could lose myself within for hours.

I was once told

the eyes are the keyhole to the soul,

and my love,

I think perhaps

I have found the key.

Tomorrow is the gender revel, but i know its a girl and im so excited!!! My little princess is about to be born AAAAAAAAAAAA