Should I start therapy or meds?
Hi, I was diagnosed with BPD, ADHD, PTSD, depression and high anxiety in 2022. I did take medication for about 6 months but they didn’t make much of a difference to me. I was also suicidal at the time because my boyfriend of 5 years left me.
Now, recently my mother has disowned me because I refuse to marry a guy she thinks is best for me. I lost my father when I was 13 and my brother doesn’t talk to me. I have no family left in this world. I have started to feel suicidal again. My best friend who I think is also my FP has been helping me through it. He is bi-romantic and I am straight. There is a strong love between us and a strong attachment. I am only starting to feel better because of him.
Lately, I have been losing my temper on him a lot mainly because I want his attention and reassurance. He is not expressive with is words and words of affirmation is my love language. He is always present for me though. He has been incredibly patient and soft with me. I have made him cry twice in the past month because I test him too much and he feels helpless when I am losing my temper on him for some perceived problem. I don’t want to lose him as a friend for obvious reasons. I think I will have a nervous breakdown if he even suggests not being friends.
I don’t want to torture him but I don’t know how to fix myself. What can I do? Please advice.