My 13 yr old tried to kill herself
I don’t know why I’m writing this , most likely it’s because I am scared , angry, in disbelief all at the same time .
Yesterday I received a phone call no parent wants . I was told my daughter was turned in by another student based on something they happened to see in her notebook . She of course denied everything , BUT this wasn’t the first I have heard of a notebook so I started to dig . The counselor stated it was my daughter and another girl who had a suicide pact that would commence next weekend when they were supposed to have a sleepover .
Now want to preface that my daughter outwardly is happy , a little “dark” but nothing too odd . She loves Manga and Anime , and has told me she wanted to become a Forensic Investigator . she loves true crime too .. we ( I thought) had a pretty open relationship as she would tell me lots of what was going on in her life . BUT I did see a change last year when she started dating a girl I thought was a nice person . I was so wrong .
I of course went to the school immediately . My husband tore apart her room and found txts to her friend also in this pact describing what they were gonna do and how . I took it all to the school and we had a talk . A suicide assesnt was given twice ! the first time she lied . The second time , knowing I had all the info , she couldn’t lie/hide anymore . so she told it all. THAT was the most terrifying thing I have ever heard . My daughter even wrote it down in her journal. What happened to her shocked me .. her Girlfriend raped her !! When I tell you I saw beyond red .. it was all I could do to not have an orange jumpsuit .
My beautiful daughter was raped , and I didn’t know . I couldn’t protect her , I couldn’t help her … that trauma sent her down a dark spiral .. to where she was taking large amounts of Advil in the middle of the night that I didn’t know about . Like I said the information she poured out in person and in the journal was .. vast.
We did 2 things . 1. We filed rape charges on the girl , and 2. I checked her into a suicide facility .
Upon assessment they agreed . She will be in the facility for up to a week … we will know more once she is evaluated from multiple drs and therapists . Last night was the first night without my baby girl home . Her brother ( who’s10) is scared for his sister .. we all are .
In truth I don’t know what this week will be , I don’t know where to start .. I feel guilty I couldn't help sooner , and I feel .. rage … but mostly I am desperate to know she will be ok, that she will at some point be my happy little girl again .. but not knowing … that’s so scary. I can’t imagine my life without my daughter…..