u/Cool_Illustrator5313

This type of discussion is probably like a broken record on this subreddit and I apologize but how have you guys coped with changes in your body and not necessarily liking it or accepting it but being semi-neutral about it? I have been giving in to my EH the last month or so and have been noticing changes that cause me a lot of distress. Even the way I handle it seems to reflect restriction though. I find myself going through bouts of EH, and then body checking to make sure I still look “acceptable” to my ED, as in I haven’t visibly gained too much weight. This is definitely an OCD thing for me because I feel the need to keep doing this over and over, and obviously the weight isn’t going to physically show immediately. So basically I’ve been still honoring my EH but as long as it still fits my ED rules and it’s so exhausting that even my OCD and restriction is woven into my recovery.

Sorry this was very long-winded and more word vomiting, I just wanted to see how you guys have been able to cope or at least talk your mind down because I am feeling so lost and alone.

I would just like some advice or maybe similar experiences or even just words of encouragement. I am in recovery after over a year of obsessive restriction. Even at my lowest weight, though, I was never “underweight” and recently this past month I’ve been dealing with presumably extreme hunger. Because I’ve never been underweight through it this I’m feeling pretty guilty for eating so much because it doesn’t feel like I need to refeed or gain weight, and I’ve been feeling like I’m using this as an excuse to binge or something because I’m telling myself I can’t possibly be experiencing EH at my state. It is also difficult because the dietitian I have been seeing has never explicitly brought up EH. Does anybody have any words to offer me here? Thank you so much