Vaginismus Questions & Advice Needed!
Hi all!
I'll try to keep this relatively short.
I am a lesbian and have had some trouble with penetration over the years I've been sexually active. I was sexually abused by my first sexual partner in 23-24, and since then have noticed a lot of trouble with penetration (particularly and especially with toys) and very little pleasure from sex. I have very little pleasure with fingering (for the first 5 seconds it's okay, then it just feels like pressure, little to no pain) and lots of trouble with toy penetration (lots of pain, no pleasure). I've sort of trudged through it until now, but it is quite distressing for me as I feel very broken and embarassed. I went to the gynecologist today (finally) to talk about my issues, and she brought up vaginismus as well as lots of resources (Floria Wellness, potentially pelvic floor PT, coconut oil, etc.) However, I was quite confused as I was under the impression vaginismus was complete pain with any penetration and even struggling to get a finger or tampon up there. I have never had any issue using tampons (some pain very occasionally) or getting fingers up there. It's really just toy penetration where it starts to really hurt and the "hitting a wall" sensation comes in.
So I'm looking for advice and to hear everyone's experiences. Is this vaginismus or something different since I'm able to take some penetration? Can vaginismus impact pleasure even with fingering? Is pelvic floor PT worth it or something I should consider? I really appreciate you all taking the time to read the post and answer. Thank you : )