how do i convince myself that my bf isn’t lying about his love for me?
i love my bf so so much but i just can’t bring myself to believe him no matter what. he compliments me and calls me beautiful daily, but i still can’t believe what he’s saying if truthful.
this is my first post so apologies if the formatting sucks. i’m 16 and so is my bf. i grew/am growing up in an unstable home as an only child with an alcoholic father and an unstable mother. they fight almost daily and my dad can drink up to 3 boxes of beer in a day. in comparison, my bf has grown up in a loving household that cares for him and frequently checks on his mental wellbeing and whatnot. i haven’t experienced this, as my mum struggled with mental health issues when she was younger but she just “toughed it out” and she seems to thinks that i can do the same.
my bf is my only source of comfort and my only friend. i don’t have anyone i talk to or vent to apart from him. i have friends but i’m not nearly close enough to vent or speak about how i feel, and sometimes i feel guilty for dumping everything on my bfs shoulders when i know he’s struggling with his own insecurities and problems. when i’m in a depressive state, my bf always makes sure to comfort me and remind me of my worth and his love for me, but i can’t bring myself to believe him. i feel like he’s just saying everything to stop me from being upset. i know it’s stupid but i can’t believe him no matter what i try. i’ve told him this before and he says that it hurts him that i cant trust him, even though i do… but i don’t know if i’m just lying to myself saying that.
i’m really afraid that one day he might leave me because of this all. there’s nothing particularly special about me that he would love. i’m not pretty or smart or talented or anything. i’m not enjoyable to be around so i have genuinely no clue why he likes me at all, but i don’t want him to stop. i feel like if he leaves me i couldnt keep living, i seriously dont know what i would do without him and i want to fix this stupid problem so that he won’t leave me.
sorry for the shitty formatting and everything. any advice would be appreciated :)