u/CounterAnxious1570

I did something really horrible and ruined my life because of it, and for that I feel like I deserve to be punished. I am withholding food and water and basic needs even going to the bathroom I know I need help deep down but I can't stop. I'm getting really weak and body aches and a huge headache . I've been crying all day. Hurting myself like this I know it's bad but it feels like I'm atoning for my wrongs. So it feels... Good. I'm like, finally, I deserve this. This is what I deserve. My physical state matches reality now. I'm even denying myself working and I know I'll lose my job soon bc I just havent worked for like 4 days now it's only a matter of time. I also engaged in sexual self harm. All of these things are like I'm deserving of punishment and it hurts but satisfies me and I can't stop and I'm really scared...