u/CountyCapital376

I have been having difficulties with sleep for a few years, and I think I have finally found a solution. It is more accurate to say “solutions” (plural), considering that I have implemented not one change, but a series of changes. The list is as follows:

1. Go to bed consistently at the same time.
2. Eat more vegetables, and lots of them (I eat like 700 g of sweet potatoes every day).
3. Avoid sugar. However, if you do have your dessert, have it in the morning.
4. Yell at your parents if they offer you bad things, and make a big drama out of it, considering that this is what they respond to rather than a calm and reasonable voice.
5. All your large meals need to be done by 11:00 a.m. If you eat something past 11:00 a.m., it needs to be a vegetable.

I tend to find that these changes have done wonders for my sleep, and I sincerely feel a meaningful difference in the quality of my sleep. Anyway, that is it for me.

A few days ago, I made a post (link below) about my inability to focus. I did not explicitly state it in the post (at least, I do not think I did; I did not check), but I have ADHD. In that post, I argued that my lack of focus is tied to emotional restlessness. I still agree with this conclusion. I think it is largely correct.

I outlined how I managed to achieve an unbelievably calm phenomenological state. It was a surreal experience. It felt profound, and I think the experience was so profound that I got excited and a little carried away with my conclusions. In the post, I think I overly emphasised emotional dysregulation as the cause and underemphasised effort (at least to some degree).

Furthermore, I stated that I was hopeful the trend would continue. To my dismay, it did not. I have not been able to achieve the state since. I am not deterred, however. I am still resolute in my pursuit of finding ways to manage my focus. I am still optimistic despite the failure, which is exactly why I have come here, because I have a very particular problem. Let me explain.

To explain my problem, I should first explain how I managed to achieve the state of calmness that I described. What I found is that if you completely occupy the mind with a singular activity or thought, and sustain this for an extended period of time, you can calm yourself down. You can achieve this state of profound stillness.

In my case, I achieved it through reading. I want to be clear about what I specifically did while reading, because “reading” alone does not accurately describe it. You have to be very deliberate. What I mean is that when you read, you have to remember the content of every sentence in such a way that your mind literally cannot think about anything else. If you can do that, I think you will achieve the stillness I described in the previous post.

When I read on the day I achieved this state, I think what I was doing was forcing myself to focus on every single sentence. I was trying my best to occupy my mind completely. It worked. Fantastic.

There is one slight problem, though: I now find myself trying to chase that state of stillness, and this is ironically impacting my focus. What I mean is that when I try to read, I am constantly self-monitoring to see whether I have achieved this “stillness state,” and this causes me to switch between focusing on the book and very frustratingly meta-focusing on whether or not I am focusing on the book. Very annoying.

Because I keep switching, it actually seems to prevent me from achieving calmness. At least, I think so. It certainly seems that way for me.

Now, I already know what I need to do to fix this. I have to try and care less about achieving a focused state of mind, which is difficult. I do not think I necessarily need advice for this, but if anyone has useful information or relevant experiences, feel free to respond in the comments.

The only reason I make these posts and write them out is because I find that reflecting on my problems through writing helps me remember and understand them better.

That is all from me then.

Thanks!

Post is here btw: https://www.reddit.com/r/Healthygamergg/comments/1t65yat/a_healthygamer_win_yes_please/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I’m unsure how to begin this; instinct tells me to provide context.

This week, I decided, on a whim, stupidly, like I normally do, to set an ambitious goal for myself: to read a book every two days. Currently, I’m on day five, and I should note that I have exceeded my expectations. I have read three books so far. I’m on my fourth right now. The book is called Gerald's Game by Stephen King (good book).

I want to talk about my particular experience with my fourth book; however, before I do, as a point of contrast, I should discuss my experiences with the other books.

When I first began reading, only just a few days ago, it was very difficult. Incredibly so. The amount of resistance I experienced when I initially started reading made it a struggle. I had to seriously force myself to focus again and again and again. It was not fun. I was irritable. Frustrated. This continued for the first three books.

Oddly though, arguably miraculously, this did not continue. My experience reading my fourth novel was strikingly different. I sat down and picked up the book. Initially, there was resistance. I had to constantly reorient the mind. Beneath the surface, unbeknownst to me, there was emotional agitation brewing, throwing my focus into disarray. But it abated. The experience subsided, and what followed was effortless focus. I would read for five hours straight with very little notice of the time passing. Surreal.

There are a few thoughts I would like to point out about my experience with this effortless focus.

First thing: it arrived more quickly than I would have imagined. Part of the goal I set for myself was to improve my focus. I have terrible focus. Whenever I try to pay attention to anything, it is impossible. This is what inspired my lofty reading goal. It was desperation. The stupid kind. But maybe, in spite of it being a bad idea, it was the kind of idea that just happened to work. Far more effectively than I initially would have suspected.

When I first set out the goals, I truly expected to stick it out for at least a month before I would come close to anything resembling effortless focus. I was mentally prepared for that very outcome. It is what I expected. What I thought was most likely. You could imagine my surprise when I was able to achieve effortless focus only five days in. Frankly, I was shocked. Shocked by how fast I managed to get to effortless focus.

Another point of focus: effortless focus requires calmness. You can’t be fidgety, restless. You have to be calm and relaxed. This seems obvious—it is. However, as a point to stress, I should point out that theory and practice are different things. It is one thing to understand the painfully obvious theory; it is an entirely different thing to see it in practice. Which leads me to an important point: up until today, I’m surprised by my lack of emotional awareness. I have been quite oblivious to how my emotions have been tugged and pulled, how chronically emotionally dysregulated I was without even realising it.

Right now, as I write, my mind is unbelievably still. That is the best word for it. Stillness. Prior to this, it seems, in contrast, that my internal experience was more like a storm: noisy, deafening, loud, and painfully distracting. It would never shut up. It would always be on, buzzing. But now? Quiet. The divide between what I feel now and what I felt only a short while ago highlights the difference in my emotional experience. It is clarifying. It is enlightening.

In many ways, I’m reminded of some of my friend’s experiences on Adderall or Dexamphetamine. They always emphasise something about their experiences on the drugs: calmness. There is this emotional description of stillness that they describe with their minds, a sense of internal serenity, an idea that the storm has subsided. This resonates with how I am feeling right now. In many ways, I speculate that a large part of people’s inability to focus is more an issue of emotional dysregulation than anything else. I could be wrong, to be fair. I don’t know for sure. I’m not a psychiatrist. When I listen to my friends, though, and their experiences on these drugs, it makes me feel as if I have become privy to those same experiences without the need to even use the drugs in the first place.

Regardless, none of this is certain. It is still early days, and this could be a fluke. I have only achieved this flow state once so far. Who is to say that it will happen again tomorrow? It might not. These circumstances demand some humility. In saying this, I feel something that I haven’t felt in a while. I feel hopeful, optimistic.

The reason why I feel more optimistic is because I have gained clarity over my problem. I used to think my issue was a lack of effort. I now see otherwise. The crux of my issues seems to be fundamentally an issue of emotional dysregulation. The clarity in diagnosis helps. Let us hope that this trend continues.