Stress From Manager Taking Toll on Mental Health/Personal Life
Going to try to make this as precise as I can.
I don’t hate my job or the work I do, but I have been there about 8 months and am starting to feel like it’s too much for the very few employees they have. That‘s only a small part of what is affecting my mental health (burnout).
Reasons why I feel my manager is causing/adding to my stress:
They are overbearing. Pretty much every thing I do has to be done the way they want, with no flexibility. They decide what tools I use, will almost always have something critical to say about it, and/or will tweak it after I’m done, because only they know how to do it properly.
They are very passive aggressive and will say something negative, but in a way that’s overly nice and not clear whats whatsoever. It feels like they lack social skills to be direct or give criticism without making it seem like a compliment. I don’t understand this.
They do very little themselves, but don’t seem to understand that I can only do so much at a time, or that things take time. It’s like they expect everything to take just a couple minutes, but are always running hours behind themselves. (Appointments for example, they will have an appointment at 1:00 that is 30 minutes away, and will leave to it at 12:55.)
They seem VERY out of touch with what is going on. We will have a very specific conversation, with me explicitly telling them how I intend to do the task, and they will come back at the end of the day and say “oh you did this like this right?” And I’m like no, you specifically told me to do it this other way.
They are always changing their mind. I will ask them if this is how they want something done. They say No this way, and literally that day or the next day will say “Can I ask you to do it this way?” And the tone is almost as if they asked me to do it that way in the first place, when they explicitly told me not to.
I don‘t know how to talk to them because they get ”weird” anytime I try to tell them things directly about what I need (time for example) and the only person above them is the owner of the company, and I don’t feel like they will understand.
I don’t want to leave this job, I already have a history of job hopping, and even though I feel my concerns are genuine, it feels like I always find something “horrible“ about the job, and dwelling on it until I can’t stand it and leave. I start to question if I am the problem like is it me? But I sincerely feel like I work non stop, put in a solid effort, and always am willing to do what it takes.
I just want to be able to do my job, and not feel like I’m going to be criticized (passive aggressively) or guilt tripped into thinking I’m wrong for not being able to do it all.
I find myself dwelling on it outside of work, and being very anxious about it. I have never been one to consider therapy, but I am seriously considering it because I want to enjoy life when I’m off work. I feel as if I’m not in a good place, and don’t know how to change anything without straight up leaving my job.