Meaningless life
34M Never had a girlfriend, never kissed, virgin. I work to pay rent and indulge in mindless escapism, video games, adult videos, anime. Only genuine hobby i probably have is drawing. I have MAYBE one friend. Zero family, I have my mom but she is crazy and other then meaningless small talk to don't have anyone to talk to about any struggles.
When you are a subhuman not one cares about anything that happens to you. Clowned on at work by superior men with wives and families. the negative halo effect is real. Sometimes I think oh i have a few people at work that are cool I get slapped back to reality realizing im just a jester clown to these people. Forever an outcast from the normies.
Head of the department is hellbent on automating my current position. There is no meaning to my life. I will never have a family, will never own a house. I will work until I die and I something happens to me where I can't work, get laid off due to AI and can't find another job its game over I will be homeless or will have to self check out of this life.
Sometimes I think that getting some kind of terminal illness like cancer wouldn't be so bad. I am too much of a coward to do it myself. Going to sleep and not waking up would be a genuine blessing. Wouldn't have to deal with work, or my crazy mother, or living this useless subhuman life