Identity Issues, Routines, and Mary Jane
hello folks! i have been a daily consumer of our friend mary jane for the past two years. i first started smoking because of college and truth be told i did not expect to like it as much as i do. it didn't present me any major problems until recently i find myself feeling very spaced out and it's not as enjoyable for me as it was before. i initially used it for its anger reducing, music enhancing and giggles inducing promises, but now it seems that i have fallen into a mindless routine.
i love the process of grinding, packing a bowl and i genuinely love the process of smoking. i love marijuana so much, i know that i should take a break from it for now and come back when i am much more clear-headed. i have taken week-long breaks sparingly before but since i started smoking i have not spent over two months without it. i would like to give my brain and lungs a break, but i should probably do it via the taper method.
sobriety is one hell of a mf drug, and every thought and emotion is amplified. while i have spent a lot of time getting to know who i am and what i like when i am under the influence blazed all the time, i am curious on what happens if i take away this amazing lovely dear plant from my life for a bit.
does anyone have any advice on how i can navigate this? i love who i am and who i've become because of this plant. i have grown so much and learned bountiful lessons that i will take with me till i die. but, i do not want this plant to hinder my amazing brain development and be so dependent to it to the point that i do not know who i am without the influence of it.
i am reminded of what my friend said that weed will always be around forever, i need not rush to smoke like a fireplace before i am a grown grown adult with way more freedom and agency.
anyways, thoughts? comments? anecdotes?