This sounds stupid, but here’s the full story. My girlfriend of 2.5 years, over the course of a few months (past september through january), abused me verbally and emotionally. Things started great, but when that time period hit, she was dismissive, mean, yelled at me for little things, constantly accused me of things, and didn’t treat me like a girlfriend should treat her boyfriend. She also somewhat emotionally cheated on me by giving her time more to guy friends than me, and at one point i looked through her phone and found texts with a guy under a girl name. It is important to note that I tried to talk to her multiple times about how I felt, and she shut me down and told me I was too needy and insecure.
As things improved again, I received a text from a friend that she was “acting single” around her friends in the recent past. After I discovered this, I talked to her and told her that this behavior made me feel really unloved. She somehow managed to convince me to stay, but some things still nagged at me. During that time, I gave her a second chance and she yelled at me again for something that wasn’t my fault. I tried to talk to her again, and again somehow was convinced to stay. It was then that she admitted to doing some of the things she initially denied the first time we had talked. Recently, we went to a family party and the day before I had told her I was still feeling a little upset. Yesterday, at the party when we were taking photos, she started crying in front of both of our families, and told me she was so nervous and scared, and again convinced me to give her another chance. I (foolishly and against my better judgement) told her I would try one more time.
The problem is that I am still really hurt. I’m really hurt by the way she treated me in the past, and the more that I think, the more I remember things she hurt me by doing. (Lying, making fun of me in front of others etc…) She’s been so happy the past day, and I tried to pretend like it was all okay, but I don’t know how to get past these feelings. Does anyone know how to move on from here? I don’t want to hurt her, and I have a hard time letting something go completely. How do I continue?