I picked Moss when I came out and I love it. It's a plant name, it feels like mine, I don't want to give it up, but I keep running into this thing where people seem to assume I'm a guy before they actually meet me. Like if someone only sees my name in an email, I think they're picturing a dude.
On top of that, I work in tech so my name gets fed into AI tools constantly by other people, they always default to he/him for me, and I'm frequently shown the output. I can't really control that since it's not my prompt. It's a small thing on its own but it adds up.
There's also a practical problem. My passport currently has an X gender marker. If I change my name I'd have to get a new passport, and under the current administration I can't get an accurate gender marker on a replacement. I guess if I do decide to change it again I'm waiting at least a couple years to make it official, which also sucks.
Am I being crazy about this? Does Moss actually read masc to you or am I overthinking it?
I've been considering picking a different plant name, something that leans more obviously femme. But I already put everyone through learning one new name and the idea of doing that again sounds exhausting.
Has anyone here changed their name twice? Was it worth it?