u/CrazyPreparation3185

Am new to reddit and am on mobile, pardon the formatting. (Long story)

I(25F)

Y(20M)

T(35M)

I (25F) enjoying playing games in my free time, recently its been Valorant. I play with friends daily, mainly in another language. I'd say i'm fluent in the language, however as it is not my main, i do struggle describing things at times or keeping up conversations regarding culture and such.

Ranks

Me: silver

T:was Gold, now plat, close to diamond?

Other regular members: (silver - diamond)

So heres the story.

Ive been playing Valorant for half a year now. And i mainly play ranked, in 5 stacks. When i play with 2 or 3 people i tend to play and also semi unconciously make friends along the way.

So as the 5 months passed, i have made a bunch of friends ages ranging from 18-40 genders also spilt 8(M):2(F)

They all play on a friend's server (where i'm also just a normal player), i'd gotten permission to invite people into the server as the leader didnt really care that much. And the community has gotten pretty big.

So heres the issue. This guy, we'll call him T (M 30++) was fine during the initial match i met him in, he would com and also play. Which was fun so i had invited him into the server, we played semi frequently at the start and as we got more 'comfortable' with each other. He'd start doing things like 'backseat gaming' the enemy was last seen in B, or Use the bandit, its better than the ghost (i hadnt even gotten 1 kill in the week the Bandit was out) <- new gun. And was shit talking rando teammates a ton on discord. "Where is the guy looking???" Or "I just said he was main!!!" And such and i kind of felt really uncomfortable and highkey stressed when playing with him. (Especially since i would bottom frag, partially cuz i was still kind of newish to the game, played more for fun than for wins and also had a ping diff 70-80, whilst everyone had 20+ ping)

I kinda knew he was 'bad news' after and had distanced myself from him. He had invited me to play and i had declined. After feeling a little bad (cuz i was still playing, with other people in a party of like 2 sometimes 3 and he could see that) i asked a friend for advice (leader of the server we're playing in) and he said to talk to the guy about the why, whats and hows.

So i sent him a dm phrasing it nicely, that i was uncomfortable and also get stressed when facing these issues. And he had thanked me for telling him. If i had not, he wouldnt have known. So i thought all was settled. And we continued to play every so often and he had stopped with the back seating and such.

A few months? Weeks? Passed and a small streamer the leader knew had joined us in playing the games and he had brought along a few friends as well (friends he made from streaming) and T was also in this group. They were all more experienced with the game and had a higher rank than me, similar rank to T and we played in full parties pretty much regularly. At this point.

The small group that played together when invited became a group that would gather daily after work. I was also part of that group but T had slowly began to slip back into old habbits. But he will only do so to those he 'judged' lower ranked than him.

Around 1-2 weeks ago, pretty much all members had a week long holiday (goldenweek) and they played games continuously throughout the nights together and had gotten really close. I had work and had to hop off for the nights.

I played separately, inviting an older friend of mine (from another game) lets call him Y(M 20 Bronze) and decided to look for 1 more for a full party. I sent a message to the group and one of regular players (6 of them had gathered and were chilling, watching someone play League) came and asked if we wanted to play Valorant Customs. My 4 friends were fine with it and i did tell them Y is a new-ish player (level 34?) They didnt mind and we gathered to play Valorant.

During the game, one of the players (one of the player of 4 i had gotten) was Asendant (M 18) and they had limited him weapons to handguns only to make it 'fair' and whilst he was complainjng about it (he was still abiding to the rules) our team (the one with the Asendant player, and Y) had won the game by a landslide 13 - 3 if i remember right and we gathered back into the call.

Once we had gathered the other team had begun saying 'bro(Y) your'e not a noob right?' Might be a Language thing) but it came off as a 'bro youre goooddd lol' kind of 'joking vibe'

T then instantly says 'i think i'm done, ima go play some LOL' and instantly hops into the other voice call. This was followed by 5 other players and that was when i felt tensions were 'off'

I approached the streamer in DM asking how the custom match had gone and how the atmospher was during the game and had gotten a 'eh, it was normal' and just kinda brushed it off. Thinking nothing off it as i was close with them.

But 3 days later when i tried to get a full party again with Y, i noticed i couldnt ping him in the server. And when i asked him what was up, he had told me the server had vanished the day before. I sent him an invite link and he told me he couldnt enter the server. (He had gotten banned)

So i asked leader, what was up ( as he wasnt there the day Y joined the server, it was the day of the customs, and Y didnt use the server after the customs until he had gotten banned) and was told by the leader he had heard the atmosphere was really bad during the custom game and that Y was 'clearly using a sub account' leader didnt ban him tho, that was what he had heard.

I asked who else had the previlige to ban in the server and was told T and 1 other person (who wasnt there) had the authority as they had asked for it during golden week.

Y is a long time friend (we play occasionally) and made his valorant account when i returned as he wanted to play games together. I had asked for a @1 with a warning there was a newbie on the team. Yet that 'newbie' got banned for 'smurfing and lying about it' thus making the atmosphere 'bad'

I find myself no longer able to be in a vc with T, but T is ALWAYS in the call as he works from home. I do enjoy playing with the other players but it hurts to see them all in a VC but i cant find it in myself to join them.

The rest dont care for Y as he's a new person in this server. And T is going around telling everyone how Y is a 'Smurf' including those who were not there that day. Score wise, i was 2nd (15K/11D) (just below the asendant) 3rd overall in the scoreboard. Y was 3rd(11K/8D) in the party. Silver (me) beating plats and diamonds btw. Yet they blame Y whos below me in the scoreboard.

I dont want to be an asshole that 'invites' others to another server or 'take' friends from.other people, no matter how much of an asshole they are. And i do have other friends i can play with (just inviting them everytime is exhuasting)

I'm upset, cuz me and my friend who did nothing wrong is getting 'punished' because of 1 entitled, selfish(IMO) Person.

Ps, the reason i know hes telling others who werent in game then, is cuz i invited those friends of mine to my server cuz we had plans to game and had explained to them i left the original server because it was hard on me mentally.

TLDR: friend got banned by 1 guy for 'smurfing' in a group of friends i really enjoy spending time with

What would you do if you were in my situation? How do i get rid of this stuffy and unpleasent feeling inside?

I know time will heal but those people i planned to meet in November as i was planning a trip then, one of them even agreed to me staying at their place..

Apologises for LONG post ><