u/Crazy_Border984

I'm trying to meet some new chill people that are around my age.

He has no faith in me whatsoever. He doesn't think I'll be able to accomplish anything or any of my dreams and that hurts me knowing I won't have my only alive parent to support me at all. This religion forces people to talk down on those who mean the most to them, unaware of the damage it can cause.

Screw him and his opinion tho. I'm not going to let some closed minded son of a bitch tell me Im going to fail when he already failed at being a loving father.

His love in conditional. He says things and thinks he's right, but he's not. Anytime I don't tell him shit, he thinks he wins and that boosts his ego.

I can't wait to fucking leave and leave him behind. Every time we speak, I always get a headache. Our relationship is broken beyond repair.

He lost his wife years ago, and soon, he'll lose his son. And that one is on him.

I've made my share of posts in the past, but this time I genuinely don't think I can do it anymore. And I'm talking about everything in general.

For an intro, I'm an 18 year old guy who graduated HS last in 2025. And I was born and raised into this religion.

Both of my parents come from very religious families who are strong in the faith. However, my mom passed when I was 5.

My dad found out I didn't want to be in the organization when I was 16, and from there, my life went downhill.

Just so you know, I'm gay, but he only knows I'm bisexual. I'm never going to tell him I'm gay to avoid further confrontation.

I don't believe in this organization and religion as a whole. I'm an atheist, and he hates that. Much like any JW parent, they want their kid to be in the religion just as they are - no exceptions.

And at this point, I've reached the edge. This last conversation broke my spirit, as my heart has been shattered prior.

He's made harsh comments to me and my viewpoints, but this settled everything for me to come to a conclusion.

I dont want to break contact with him, and I dont know if I want to carry on anymore.

We had an argument about our conflicting viewpoints and I struggled to prevent myself to raise my voice at him, as he will put his hands on me. Including throwing me out the house.

I have a deadline until I turn 20 to leave the house, and Im nervous. He doesnt understand the kind of pressure hes putting me under and even if he does, HE DOESN'T.

HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ME DUDE.

I keep trying to talk my perspective but its pointless.

Im tired of wasting my breath.

Im tired of wasting my time.

Im tired of everything.

I don't know if I'll be able to live the life I want, which is bad in his eyes.

And because of that, Im afraid of even trying, especially if I know my entire family won't have faith in me.

Hes talking to them about me behind my back so I dont know what family members know what, and I wouldnt be suprised if he told his friends AND my mother's family as well.

He told me some things I'll never forget...

"Your mother HATED gay people. She loathed them."

"I won't hesitate to kick you out on the streets in fear that I wasn't able to keep your mom's promise."

"You're willing to pursue a 'homosexual lifestyle' in favor of your mom?"

There's more but I don't want to type them. I'm trying to hold back tears because this shit hurt me in ways he'll never understand.

Knowing my mother hated the very thing I am breaks my soul, and now I know she'll never love me like I thought she would...

I didn't ask to be this way. I didn't ask to be apart of this religion.

ALL I WANT IS TO BE MYSELF! SO WHY IS THAT SO WRONG?!?!

Please help me....

I don't know if I want to continue on anymore...