Approximately 18 days ago I met with a severe burn incident as I was cooking and boiling water fell on me and I burnt my thigh groin and my stomach area due to the boiling water falling on me
Fortunately I was taken to the hospital within an hour and the doctors performed surgery ( collagen treatment) within an hour of admission and was admitted for 4 days in the hospital and then I got discharged and been at home ever since
Ever since the surgery it’s so hard to even sleep on my sides let alone sit or stand or do anything on my own. My mom has been my rock and is helping me get through this time but I’m so tired of this that I’m unable to bear this pain anymore
I recently started a new job in the domain I liked after fighting for it over a year and half. I just started making friends in the new company, just got a task assigned and now, I can’t even sit straight to open my laptop because the wounds are so painful for me to move
I barely got my life together, new job, good timings compared to the night shifts I was doing before and I genuinely was happy that my life is going in a good direction… and now I’ve been bedridden for the last 18-19 days
There’s just so much pain so much pain that I have had su*c*dal thoughts multiple times during this period. Everything seems so dark and cloudy to me and I genuinely cannot see a way out of this mess.
In theory I know that the wounds once they heal they’ll peel off on their own and it’ll be okay but there is so much pain every single day that I just want one day without any pain or any sort of suffering… and that feels like too much to ask
I feel like a burden to my own self with the inability to move as freely as I could. It takes me 10 minutes just to drag myself and sit on the bed to get down from it. It feels so awful, so so awful and I can’t even tell this to anyone because everyone is just trying to distract me from whatever I am trying to say.
I know that distracting myself from this is the only way I can cope with the pain and loneliness but there’s just so much of pain that any sort of distraction isn’t helping me. I’m just constantly crying and crying and that’s the only thing I am able to do
Please do not think I’m writing this for sympathy but I just thought that putting this out somewhere would help me feel a bit better. Thanks for reading