Tldr: strap, position, technique, anything recs for bigger gals!
I've been with my partner many years now. We're both in our mid 20s. Both of us had previously dated cis men. Our bedroom life is great, my only complaint is we both struggle to initiate, but when it does happen it's awesome. We're both verses and very comfortable around each other when it comes to fingering and toys of all shapes and sizes amongst other things, but the one thing we just never truly figured out is strap ons. But we both really want to!
We have two that we've tried, one is just a ring with nylon webbing around waist + thighs, and the other is an underwear/boxer style. The latter is much more comfortable and easy to wear/put on, but doesn't offer enough stability to actually keep a toy moving with a body while thrusting. Ie the toy would rather pull away from the wearer than move back and forth in someone. The other one is less comfortable to wear and kinda a pain to get set up, which can interrupt the flow of things, and can sometimes run into the same issue. Its clear we need to try something new, but I'm not sure what to be looking for. Definitely seeking input on this!
Every time we've tried to use it, things just don't work. We're both plus sized individuals with larger tummies and the same height so finding the right angles and such so that we're both comfortable and penetration is possible is a challenge to begin with, and then we run into the issue where the toy won't move with me and the toy just kinda. Sits there. That's not exciting for anyone! I think part of it is the strap itself, but also feel part of it is likely my technique. I want to improve but I'm not sure where to start.
Any insight or advice appreciated! Thanks in advance!