| (27F) don't know how or when to break up with my boyfriend (28M)
I've reached a point of no return. I am completely checked out of my 4.5 year relationship, but due to financial reasons and logistical planning, I am stuck living with my boyfriend for the next months while I secure my own place.
The problem is I don't know how to actually execute the breakup when the time comes because he is the king of passive aggressiveness and weaponized incompetence.
I've realized I deeply resent him, and honestly, he's giving me the biggest ick..: He is 28, has zero ambition, and intends to stay at a dead end desk job forever just because he likes his coworkers and it's easy (I've been urging him to continue his education but it's too much work apparently).
His entire lite revolves around eating edibles, eating out, and playing his Nintendo Switch.
But what kills me the most is his absolute passivity. He is incredibly so so passive and lacks any sense of leadership.
I am forced to be the doer in this relationship just to keep the household running (all the time). He has never washed a dish and unless is frozen food he doesn't cook. When I asked him to come to the Christmas shopping with me, he groaned that it was a hassle and told me to figure it out.
He only does things when I plan them (even then he lowkey tries to stay home unless is his best friend calling).
When I call him out, he plays the victim. He uses the I already said sorry, you just want to be mad card to gaslight me and avoid any real adult conversation. He shuts down if a topic is deeper than a video game.
I know he "loves" me in his own lazy, comfortable way, but I cannot tie my future to a man-child. I am quietly saving every penny to move out soon, hopefully. But how do you break up with someone so completely oblivious, passive, and emotionally unavailable when you still have to share a roof for a few weeks? Do I tell him now and endure the awkward silence, or do I just wait until my bags are packed?