u/Crazylittleguylilguy

Whenever I was sad or felt scared and unwanted, I would open a dating app and press like a bunch of times until I got matches. I didn’t actually talk to any of them, so at the time I justified it in my head by saying I wasn’t cheating. Now that she saw it, I realize the gravity of what I’ve done. There was a short period after where we thought we could work through it, but she has enough self-respect and standards to where she doesn’t think she can forgive me. I feel awful, i hurt the person i loved most and i can never take it back. I deeply regret the person i was to where i could do that. I really dont know how i’ll forgive myself. I really miss her. What do i do now, where do i go. When i imagined my future i only saw her. This all happened suddenly and i feel so lost.