My inner lesbian yearns to be realized
My inner lesbian has been suppressed for so long. Its so much easier to get with men, surprise surprise. I feel like i dont really know where to begin with dating women, especially since I am not a user of dating apps. Ive been in two serious relationships with men and both of them communicated to me that i never initiated sex. They werent wrong. And i ended up leaving the relationships because they didnt feel "right" in my soul, thats the only way i could really make sense of my unhappiness in them.
As a kid, i had some innocent experiences with my girl friends, i think just regular curiosity that comes with growing up. In high school, i had some drunken experiences with a close friend of mine, and in college i did too. But now im 26, and so aware of my own internalized heteronormativity and im not used to picking up cues sent by women or even how to send out cues that im interested. I have lesbian dreams that resonate deeply with my desires and i wake up yearning to touch a woman again. When i have touched a woman, i just knew how, and I loved it. I never fantasize about touching a man and never have, my only fantasies regarding men are them desiring me.
Im not sure what kind of response i might be looking for, maybe someone with a similar experience or someone who got themselves out of this. Mainly i just feel stuck and dont know how to begin truly realizing and manifesting this deep sexual part of myself into reality. Love and Xo