Is it reasonable to expect your gf to tell you if their guy best friend previously wanted to sleep with her (before our relationship)?
My girlfriend and I established a boundary early on that I wanted transparency if I was around someone she had slept with, dated, or had some kind of romantic/sexual history with.
Recently, I found out that her guy best friend had previously expressed wanting to sleep with her before we were in a relationship. She mentioned it in passing while I was asking about a text that jokingly implied they may have had sex in the past. She had never told me this before, and I was always under the impression their relationship was more sibling-like.
To me, knowing that a close friend actively wanted to have sex with your partner changes the dynamic a bit, especially when they’re still extremely close. I feel like that’s something I probably should’ve known earlier. I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about it because I know he’s been an important friend to her for a long time. I also still need more context on what exactly was said and how serious it was, which I plan to talk to her about.
For additional context, earlier this year she also hid the fact that an ex had messaged her until I confronted her about it, so transparency has already been a sensitive topic in our relationship.
Would you consider this a violation of the boundary we established? Am I justified in feeling irritated, or does this sound like overreacting?
I’m planning to talk to her about it soon, but I wanted outside perspectives first, especially from women.