AIO for my husband golfing today?
So for context, my husband and I hace been together for 8 years, married for 4 and have 3 kids. I work full time as a high school teacher and he works full time from home in sales.
Anyway… he took a day off today to go golfing. Most of the time, it’s his PTO, he’s a big boy, I don’t care much. But I have been asked at work to train as a mentor for new teachers, which is great because I’m trying to move into an instructional coach position in a couple of years, so this training is step one and really important to me. Well the training over the summer was cancelled and the only other one for the year is next week. It’s 9 am to 4 pm which isn’t bad but it’s a 2 hour drive to get there and I’m the one who drops off and picks up our kids from school and daycare. We tried to make it work to see if others and family could help out with this. He said he couldn’t take the time off. It was too last minute and he couldn’t take the whole day or take off that early two days in a row. I said it was fine (I was upset but didn’t want to make him feel bad) and I informed my principal. She was super understanding and said she would get me in the next one the moment it popped up. It is also Mother’s Day weekend but we aren’t doing anything for me because we are going out of town to meet his mom and sister on Saturday and my mom and grandma and aunt on Sunday. I’m not too upset (even though I am the family member with the most kids and I spend the most time taking care of our children) but I love our families and am happy to do stuff to celebrate them and the live of my children is the best gift in the world.
All of that to say, he texts me this morning to say “I think I’m gonna take the day off because I feel sick but also golf might be involved” 🙄 I told him “you’re not sick you just want to golf”
I don’t get a day for Mother’s Day, he’s not “able” to help me next week for training, but he knows he had plans to take off today to go golfing.
I don’t want to be upset, but I don’t get a break to do anything I want. I work, I pick up our kids after school, I play with them, I cook, I clean. It just feels unfair. I don’t know how to bring it up without him saying something like “well what do you want to do? Go do something. You won’t take time to go do something for yourself” I’m taking care of our kids and when I’m not, I’m tired! When do I have time? I wanted to next week and you wouldn’t help me!
Am I overreacting? Or do I have a right to be upset? Should I bring it up to him? Or do I look like the jerk?