would I be an asshole if I towed my exs car?
I’ve been in a financial and emotional abusive relationship that’s ended with me having his child who is now 1 month old.
It’s an empathetic / narcissistic relationship me being the empathetic personality.
In the past he had me sign up to a Telstra plan for him that he no longer pays and then recently i purchased a vechile on the premises that it remains in my name until the ex partner paid it off (4500). I took out a loan for this car. (I take full ownership for being a dumbass at this point)
It’s through an agency for low income earners and I pay a very small amount each fortnight.
He was to choose a “family” car and pay it off to me , originally he stated it was extremely unfair for him to pay anymore than what I pay fortnightly ( this loan will last 4 years at 40 dollars a fortnight )
He did not choose a family car and came home with a ford falcon from a buddy at work that I really wasn’t impressed by however I messed up allowing him to choose and there wasn’t anything I could do at this point nor did I.
His job pays well and we pay very minimal rent sharing a split level house with family so I stated I expected at least 100 a week. After lots of push back he eventually started making a payment of 200 a fortnight.
He then left the house to live with his sister due to stressful demands of being a new dad like being asked to vacuum. Some people aren’t equiped for a family life and I feel for him being unable to do it however I don’t need 3 kids. I hold no resentment with that.
He agreed to pay a certain amount in child support when the possibility of a relationship remained with us, when I made it clear I don’t want a relationship with him but he’s free to see his kids whenever , he withdrew child support. He’s made one payment since and purchased nothing in preparation for her arrival.
I add this in because this pattern of choosing when he will and not stick to an agreement leads me to think about taking the car back.
He started modifying things on the car including turning off a lot of safety mechanisms that when I looked it up for an explanation it seems it’s for better drifting and things like that.
So far he has paid 600 towards the car.
However he’s recently made comments of swapping the vechile for a bike.
I said I wasn’t comfortable with this action due to only buying the car for him so he could help with the kids ( I have 2 one is biologically his)
His reasoning was that he wanted to be able to keep the bike registered in someone else’s name and be able to get to and from work (he recently lost his license in the ford for 3 months)
I said not only am I not comfortable swapping the car for a bike for reasons above but that it would need to go in my name because it would be mine.
He stated that actually he went behind my back and had a receipt written up from the seller of the ford falcon and that just because it’s registered in my name it doesn’t mean I own it.
I am willing to pay the 600 back and take the car back but he’s refusing to give it back.
There’s no written agreement between us, I have a legal document showing proof of purchase as well as it’s registered in my name.
Would I be an asshole if I had it towed and brought back to me?
I’ve posted this on a throwaway account, I am a real person that’s just really conflicted so please keep your comments civil.