u/Creative-Quote-1196

Long story incoming. Backstory- my husband and I met 4 years ago and have been married for almost 2 years. Ever since I met my MIL, I knew I didn’t like her. She was a horrible mother to my husband and his sister. She is a functioning drug addict (doctor shops, pain pills and benzo’s) and narcissist. The first day I met her, I told her I was having some cramps and she offered me a Percocet. I kinda declined as my husband had already told me she was into pills. She told me she was a “retired nurse” (I was and am an ICU RN), but the reality is she lost her license 6 months into her practice for stealing narcotics and not going to rehab. She lies constantly and is very manipulative. I’ve observed many, many instances of her shitty behavior but to name a few…at my husbands nieces 3rd birthday, she told his sister she wanted her to save the present that she got for the child so that her and the child could open it together privately so she would know it was from her. This struck me as very odd and creepy. As the years have gone by, my husband and her constantly butt heads because we are always catching her in some lie. A week after my dad died, she literally faked a stroke for attention. At my wedding she demanded the photographer take a picture of HER walking down the aisle. A few weeks into my pregnancy, she talked shit about me to my husband and said I was “always in a bad mood.” Sometimes when she calls my husband, she is slurring her words but will never admit to being on drugs. She claims that since they are prescribed it’s okay. During my pregnancy, she maybe called or texted twice to check in on me. She didn’t buy my daughter anything at the baby shower. Not that money or gifts means anything, but she genuinely has never attempted to form a relationship with me. She told me 8 weeks into my pregnancy she was going to get a tattoo of my daughter’s name? Like what the fuck? I feel like she thinks she can get a second chance at parenting with her grand children and I really really don’t like it. My husband agrees with me that she is a piece of shit, but whenever I tell him that I can’t stand her he just says “well shes still my mom and I love her.” That’s literally all he ever says. And I’m frankly getting fucking sick of hearing it. Before my daughter was born, I explicitly said only immediate family only at the hospital. She pulls up with my husbands grandma and when we call her out on it, she goes “well, I brought her bc I’ve been getting lost. Btw I may have early onset dementia.” THE DAY OUR FIRST CHILD WAS BORN. She’s always making up new diseases she has for attention. Then, she holds our daughter and says “she’s going to love me so much. Even more than you.” My husband demanded our baby back and she then goes on to say it was a joke. Then during my post partum, she was constantly trying to push her way into our home and wouldn’t stop offering “help.” As if I’d ever trust her to help me with my child when she’s constantly on something. Here is the real kicker - she has been asking to see my daughter naked - for weeks, always asks to be at diaper changes. Asked for bath tub pictures. And I found an old family photo album with posed photos of my husband and his sister naked as old as ages 5 & 7. I lost my shit, told my husband she would never be alone with our child and would never be present for a diaper change. He agreed but I could tell he just doesn’t take it as seriously as I do. She now is insisting she sees her every week. She even goes behind my back to ask my husband because she knows he won’t say no but I will. I genuinely fucking hate being around her and want her no where near my daughter. I’d love to go no contact and never see her again, I have no problem doing that with her or any family that is dangerous. But my husband always says “well she’s my mom.” Genuinely, what do I do? I don’t want to cause a massive family rift but I also want her to know she will not be close to my daughter and to stop pushing me. I’m sick of placating her.